Watch out for douchebags trying to clothes line you

Something like this?

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Or this intergrated with this...

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hope your friend gets over that quick. Those boys probably get raped by their care workers.

A hoola hoop? Do you mean :

a.)

or

b.)

If you mean hoola hoops as in b, they are not to be under estimated. You really can beat the shit out of someone with those!

a. I have a small head and thankfully was able to eat myself out of the situation

YouTube- Kevin McHale Clotheslines Kurt Rambis

Those boys probably get raped by their care workers.

What the fuck! What a horrid thing to say.

OP: Hey man how you feeling? Listen, you know those kids that beat you up, well, they all get raped by their care workers.
OPs mate: Really? Seriously? Aw thanks man you didnt have to. I feel so much better now.

Dont think it works like that.

There you go sir; you've earned it.

Woop Woop!

A whole year? LOL, hard man.

so hard that i've managed to squeeze out three pubic-like wispy hairs into a sweet 'tache.

Without wanting to get all Mary Whitehouse about it, but when you've got games like this out there;

people of limited mentality begin to find it hard to distinguish between real life and fantasy, not to mention lose sight of the sanctity of life itself.

sorry sorethroat it was not my intention too cause you or anybody else offence. In future i will think twice before posting.

I blame the parents.

I blame blame.

I take this route every day (for the last eight years) as it is much 'nicer' than riding down Walworth road, and I have had bricks and fireworks chucked at me and a half hearted ambush attempt. More malice than a serious assault I think. My advice, for what it's worth, is to be very cautious after dark and be prepared to turn around and head to Walworth road at the slightest suspicion of ambush. NEVER ride through Burgess Park after dark. There was a story of someone a couple of years ago who had their face rearranged by a scaffolding pole taking a shortcut through the park. In general, if you are with a load of nodders, keep pace with them and cruise through. If you are on your own, go on a main road. (Nodder shield!)

hope your friends heals up.

another reason why i am nervous about cycle lanes / cycle parks. the aggressors / thieves know where we are. and another example of how naive the policy makers are.

stick to the bus lane roads and take your bike indoors is my advice.

and also if you can wtfu. (witness the fuck up). ride in a group.

thankfully the incidence rate is rare and probably seasonal.

keep your wits about you.

happened to a mate of mine on the canals on his ride home to dalston. The fuckers decked him on his bike, took the little cash he had then thrown his phone AND bike in the canal. Poor fella had to wade in to get it! He was nearly ready to go home to Australia after that. Humans are nasty creatures!

wowser. shit luck. personally I would be skeptical of taking canals in the evening. but not good for London's image, for sure. Big kudos for rescuing his bike though...

Sorry to hear about your friend.

I always use Thurlow Rd going through the Aylesbury estate, cos my mate used to live in the block on the left at the end, so it's just familiar territory now. The road's wide and fast with lots of cars and buses on it. Don't know how that compares with Brandon and Portland.

For an estate that looks like it does, I've never seen any trouble aimed at cyclists - and I sometimes come down there at pretty late o'clock. Maybe I've just been lucky.

Thurlow St is better late o'clock, than Brandon and Portland, but it does seem the kind of place where eventually you'll run into trouble.

Whats cunts.

Thanks for posting, helps us all. Serves as a reminder just to think a lil bit, and be aware.

I live and work in dalston and am about to cycle back from work to home at such an ungodly hour that the scallies will be in full force and now i'm shiting bricks even tough this hasn't happened to me in the many years i have been here, however i know people similar things have happened to and i sort of agree with trebek, it hasn't increased teh scalliness of the scally but it has increased the worth of being a scally.

if you're unsure of your route just ask. I'd be willing to plot a route with you. Good Luck otherwise!

The other week I was riding home towards stoke newington and some little cherubs hurled rocks at me (they missed anything important). Big group of what looked like 8/9 yr olds. Like in City Of God, only not as well choreographed. I flicked them the Vs and sped off. When I was about 11, living in Manchester, I got clothes-lined off my Raleigh Marauder. Thick taut wire, well painful. The little shits have been doing this for years. If only they applied this creative thinking in the classroom, cuh, kids these days...

Hi everyone

I've managed to read through most of the this thread and was wondering if women have ever been targetted in this way? I know we appear more likely to get flattened by large vehicles but not heard/read about attacks. They seem primarily to be aimed at men.

Is it just between men/boys?

Theres only one thing for it

We don't dress that way in Balham.

Hi everyone

I've managed to read through most of the this thread and was wondering if women have ever been targetted in this way? I know we appear more likely to get flattened by large vehicles but not heard/read about attacks. They seem primarily to be aimed at men.

Is it just between men/boys?

Women have been victimised, too, Wanda, but incidents are few and far between. You're generally quite safe from assault on your bike. Assaults/robberies tend to come in spates and are usually limited to a particular area. There was a real problem in the N1 area some years ago, but that's long over. That said, avoid ambush alleys and stick to well-lit main streets after dark. Overall, I wouldn't be too worried.