Wasps

You say

I say

Well, I mean, not really. I know I was wrong.

This:

I didn't get stung. I just did a lot of panicked screaming.

They're deadly for reducing you to high pitch screaming. Why does no one ever get casually bothered by a wasp in films?

Found a wasps nest in the loft 2 years ago, it was about the size of a fridge. Wasps had access in and out of the loft through air bricks in the roof so they weren't really bothering me until one got in my bedsheets one night and ended up stinging me on the inside of my lip, my face swelled up massively and hurt for a couple of hours.

So I decide to get rid of them and go see landlady, very sorry and apologetic she is and promptly rings Rentokill who advise us they'll be round the later in the week to get rid of the nest. Rentokill come round and the boy they send must be all of 18, straight up in to the loft with his long stick thing he goes and kills the fucking nest. Packs up his gear and leaves the house.

I go to the shop to get some sweets and when I come back the silly fucker has left the loft hatch open and my flat has about 500 angry wasps in it. I got stung about 12 times trying to open all the windows and then spent half of the morning sat on the pavement wimpering with no T-shirt on waiting for the wasps to leave the house. T-shirt was lost in a battle to a few of the wasps on the stairs.

Wasps are cunts of the highest order.

haha

On a serious note

my epi pen is back in my saddle bag which is generally kept in my courier bag.

In case I get stung and need help it needs to be injected into my thigh or other large muscle.

or other large muscle.

that rules out the cock then

I get terrible allergic reactions from all bitey, sting-y things so they can all fuck off.

Right - am i going mad?

I'm sure I read this thread last week sometime - story from Lucy, DJ's epi-pen etc - all seems very familiar, yet it seems to have only been started 13 hrs ago.

I have wandered into an LFGSS twilight zone.

It's a glitch in the Matrix

Tiswas

I am an automated response machine

wasps- I rant at schick and complain about the epi pen

idiots post on here - use the cunting search you failed example of human existence

etc etc

you are the only real person here

Imagine if this guy got stung.

It is on topic, I promiss

YouTube- The Milk - Poem Blast (pringle)

Imagine if this guy got stung.

It's hippy

in that hiatus between finishing uni, bumming around asia pretending to be a surfer and joining the world of gainful employment, i spent a summer pedicabbing and staying at my folks house in the suburbs. and very nice it was too. one particularly hot summer evening we noticed a barely audible crackling noise that seemed to be eminating from the corner of the room where the tv was. over the course of a couple of days we tried unplugging the tv and various other appliances in the room to find the source of the weird scritching, scraping, crackling sound but we never could quite pin it down.

a few days later i walked into the room to find about a dozen wasps buzzing about in there, on the walls, curtains and generally flying about. i thought there were enough to constitute a threat and justify the use of shock and awe tactics so i went next door to get a badminton racket. i swung with gusto and twatted about 5 or 6 across the room with satisfyingly fatal results. weirdly though the total number of wasps in the room didn't seem to be diminishing.

whilst going for a low level wall-crawler i noticed mid-swing and too-late, the tiny circular hole in the wallpaper by the fireplace that was spewing wasps, one-by-one. the edge of the racket hit the wall just by the hole opening up a 8 inch long tear that immediately started pouring hundreds of angry wasps into the room. i left pretty sharpish, skin crawling.

apparently the weird scritching sound had been hundreds of wasps scratching and eating away at the plaster board from inside the wall. they'd eventually eaten away all of the board behind a good foot square of the wall leaving only the wallpaper between them and the living room. I managed to stem the tide with some wasp spray and a big sheet of sticky-backed plastic over the tear until we got someone round to deal with it*. It was really creepy sitting there that evening listening to the newly vigorous scraping and angry buzzing coming from behind the temporary barrier.

• i used to get sent up a ladder with a can of deet and a net curtain over one of my mum's straw sunhats tucked into a jumper in a make-shift approximation of a bee-keeper's get up. in fact it was after one of these occasions when i received several stings to the face and arms that it became apparent that I too am allergic to wasp stings (not fatally like DJ - just temporarily disfiguringly so). after that we got someone else to deal with nests.
  

At least wasps can fly.
Arf!

At least wasps can fly.
Arf!

So could the Luftwaffe. Job Done

Crabs. Slow moving nippy oceanic brethren of the wasp.

Like OB, wasps are good for fuck all

When I was about 8yo, I was playing football in my back garden with my top off. Ball went into a bush, I went in to get it and there was a nest in therr. Got stung 9 times at once on my shoulders, chest and back. Crying like a fanny I was

Never been stung since though

Crabs. Slow moving nippy oceanic brethren of the wasp.

I bet that'd be lush to eat

But been crying like a fanny ever since

Errrrr.........?!*

*coming from the boards biggest complainer/reporter

Like OB, wasps are good for fuck all

When I was about 8yo, I was playing football in my back garden with my top off. Ball went into a bush, I went in to get it and there was a nest in therr. Got stung 9 times at once on my shoulders, chest and back. Crying like a fanny I was

Never been stung since though

But been crying like a fanny ever since

when i was a kid in the summer, we used to get a milk bottle half fill it with water and a cardboard beer mat, then go around to flowers catch the wasp/bee shake the bottle. until there was about 50 in there. then empty it, and wait for the sun to dry them out, then run...

Errrrr.........?!*

*coming from the boards biggest complainer/reporter

But you may just pip me to being the biggest cunt on here!

That's never gonna happen

Wasp:

Hornet:

My money's on the hornet.

Ill take that bet, but let make it interesting ..say 10p?

The wasp aint to scale