My cat just fell out the window...

you don't.. Remember, Dogs have masters. Cats have staff..

The older one does jump on the surfaces, but in secret- only when unobserved, as he knows he is not meant to. He is also able to avoid knocking stuff off, so I don't really mind.

My kitten broke the butter dish today by jumping on the kitchen surface and knocking it off.

How do I communicate to the kitten that some surfaces are verboten?

fill an empty hand spray wotnot with water and give her a good spritz with it whenever the little minx decides to jump up on the kitchen counter. clapping loudly and saying NO NO NO gets the hint accross too.

or cover your work surfaces in bear traps and molten hot lava.

o.

or cover your work surfaces in bear traps and molten hot lava.

Amateur. Bear traps only work on bears.

Dammit you're dealing with a kitten. Good luck!

A firm strong "no" or "pssssss" does the trick but no shouting. Just look after them well, make a big deal of offering them food (instead of doing it out of duty) and washing their bowls, cleaning their litter, give them space etc.. play with them but never with your hands, pay attention to them.

Just common sense.

play with them but never with your hands

Why?

^ Yes.. Why?

playing fight fight fight, kill kill kill with handspiders is one of lifes rare pleasures.

:-)

Hands are for stroking.

It's funny cos Jaygee always plays with the cat using his hands and they both have massive fights. But if I then approach the cat with my hands in the middle of the fights, he turns into cute purring cat. If I try to play with my hands, he gets upset and walks away (obviously sometimes it gets too much and I get scratched but it's funny to see the change in behaviour with us two).

cats love a good ruck! mine does. tho the death-from-above-souplex offa the ceiling suspended drying rack gets a bit tiresome after a while.

why you little! why i oughta!

Hands are for stroking..

This is true.. But I can stroke and stroke the Molly cat and she purrs and purrs and does de rolypoly over me hand and cutesy pie and soft and soppy, then, of a sudden, she throws a MASSIVE spaz and claws my hand, arm to shreds (anchoring her front paw claws into my forearm/wrist whilst doing that mad back leg kicking thing)...

Bless her

How do I communicate to the kitten that some surfaces are verboten?

Blender Defender!
http://www.plasma2002.com/blenderdefender/

Or this other variant
YouTube - Counter surfing cat surprise

every cat I've had does that Jekyll and Hide thing. I guess they just cant take too much of a good thing.

then, of a sudden, she throws a MASSIVE spaz and claws my hand, arm to shreds (anchoring her front paw claws into my forearm/wrist whilst doing that mad back leg kicking thing)...

Bless her

My cat passed away on Thursday Brave; I am wishing you and yours all the best.

So sorry to hear about your cat, Will.
Here's hoping Brave's is fine.

moving the litter might not work since she is not using it.

You'd start the litter tray wherever the cat was peeing, if the cat still avoided the tray then get a different tray/litter/etc and repeat.

If you make your hand the subject of play then you're always gonna get hunted at times... cat's are not submissive/obedient, they pretty much go about life as they please (including when/where and who/what they hunt) and would look for an alternative owner if the food/environment/etc wasn't up to scratch!

playing fight fight fight, kill kill kill with handspiders is one of lifes rare pleasures.

+1

I have never made my feet the subject of play but they still take joy in ambushing them on the 07:30 bleary eyed trip to the bog, the little darlings.

This is true.. But I can stroke and stroke the Molly cat and she purrs and purrs and does de rolypoly over me hand and cutesy pie and soft and soppy, then, of a sudden, she throws a MASSIVE spaz and claws my hand, arm to shreds (anchoring her front paw claws into my forearm/wrist whilst doing that mad back leg kicking thing)...

Bless her

My neighbours old cat was like this. It would lure you in by letting you stroke it, rubbing its head on your hand and stuff, then roll over for you to stroke its belly and Bam! punctured lower arm.

Showing your belly in the cat world is a submissive stance (big cats still do this to show allegiance/dominance), stroking said belly is likely to get you in trouble mind... it's not an invitation.

Yeah but it's so soft its often worth the risk.

This is true.. But I can stroke and stroke the Molly cat and she purrs and purrs and does de rolypoly over me hand and cutesy pie and soft and soppy, then, of a sudden, she throws a MASSIVE spaz and claws my hand, arm to shreds (anchoring her front paw claws into my forearm/wrist whilst doing that mad back leg kicking thing)...

Bless her

Georges did a similar thing to Jaygee on Friday. J took G in his arms (in front of our guests) and went "cutie cutie", bouncing and shaking him. Jaygee has now 3 massive claw marks on his nose.

does anyone elses kitty have a habit of trying to lick your face - usually around 3 o'clock in the morning? fortunately mrs cf tends to be on the recieving end of these tender ministrations.

^ We keep our cats in the utility room which has access to the garen over night but one of our cats used to hide under beds in the evening to avoid ejection.

Never forget when, before my girlfriend lived with me, i was woken by a blood curdling scream as my cat had come out from under the bed and started licking her face in the middle of the night. Funny. as. fuck.

Molly doesn't face lick but certainly makes sure we are awake at about 5am by jumping on us, meowing, poking me in the face..

Almost certainly a repost

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q

Our cat likes to sleep in our bed, crawling under the duvet and sleeping in between us, which is probably a bad idea? I dunno.

A favourite method of waking us is to lie on top of either of us and purr for ages to psych herself up and then stands up and shakes her head and sprays cat spittle in our faces.