Tuesday Night Ride Club (TNRC)

^^^What's up with you? We're not going up Whitedown, we're going down Whitedown. That's what's going down on the day unless things go tits up. It's down to you not to fuck things up.

I suppose I'll stick with 65". Can't be bothered to swap chainrings again.

Don't know why I'm posting that 'out loud'. No-one cares. I mean no-one except Ved gave a fucking shit that I took a massive 5 minutes out of my life to toss off (yes, you heard me, 'toss off') a teaspoon's worth of descending tips.

You really start to wonder if there's any point to any of this. There's a glimmer of hope, during one's angst-ridden youth, that feelings like these will subside as you crest the steep hill of adolescence and young adulthood and are spat out onto the plateau of indeterminate age; but the sense of abandonment and alienation simply ripens, swollen like a lager sodden snail on the side of a drained can of cheap lager in an insipidly coloured carrier bag nestled in a hedgerow in the chokehold of the commuter belt.

Ved is obviously a faster reader than the rest of us. I am still reading them. I will then commit then to memory in readiness for the pop quiz as we descend Coldharbour Lane.

I'd heard it all before.

That wasn't just any old cheap lager. That was Marks and Spencer's Belgian lager.

Posh snail, innit?

Thanks for the descending tips Scarlett. Really appreciate them, but I am disappointed that I have to overtake your spinning ass on the straight? I want to cut you up good (not in an HMP, two blades on a toothbrush handle kind of way).

having never been out on the 5 hills with TNRC, i got the fear about going up whitedown.

going down it is a completely different fear but having read the excellent notes on "how to go down" ^ up there, i feel a little better.

oh man these sound like fun
i am in geared for the next one
pain cave here i come

I'd heard it all before.

It was aimed at n00bz or nervous descenders. Not GHMOIARBHs like you.

@ dicki
Always wondered why you'd never been out on one.
A fine introduction it will be.
I think you're more than capable doing this fixed however.
Ya know... As it was intended ; )

i don't give a fuck about descending tips, i want raising tips!

is walking down up there in whitedown allowed?
is going down unprotected on the up "hill" in the main menu?

@ Ved

natives understanding failure! hi hi hi...

as i've had scarlett on ignore for the last 9 months does anybody know if he's been posting? I know he can clog things up with 'tips' and general info about mental illnesses etc. just let me know ifyou think i should politely ask him to open his own thread / forum :D

Bedwetters! I'm doin the next one fixed, brakeless

^that's a good tip!

Quite apt too that the TNRC should return to it's roots on the longest day.

Calender fail.

Ok, so it'll be quite apt that the TNRC should return to it's roots on the joint second longest day of the year.

I'd pay good money to watch Pistanator descending Whitedown brakeless. We might need a spare mattress or two to help guide him around the hairpin.

he's got his own crash protection.

I'd pay good money to watch Pistanator descending Whitedown brakeless. We might need a spare mattress or two to help guide him around the hairpin.

gulp

Let's have some descending tips:

General

• speed wobbles are a similar frequency to shivering, so wear something warm. You should ride as slowly as possible up hills to avoid perspiration and the cooling effects as you descend.
  
• you should apply a minimum of 8-10nm of grip on your bars. This will match the manufacturer recommendation for the stem and bars clamps. Any less and you body is the weakest link in the chain.
  
  

Group

• you don't want to get stuck behind some nervous nelly, get to the front at all costs.
  
  

Fixed

• this a chance to show off your mad skids. watch a few mash videos, get a few drinks into you and get amongst it. that shoe on the tyre method looks pretty cool, too.
  
  

Geared

• I've seen a few videos on youtube of the tour de france and it looks like the best way to do it is in the ski racer aero position. Tuck your body right under the saddle, chest flat on the stem. You should reach speeds beyond the gearing of you highest gear if you sit a few inches from on the wheel on the person in front.
  
  

Traffic

You should be able to pass vehicles, their heavy cumbersome chassis is slow down hills.

That's probably most of it.

ftfy

Yeah, that hairpin gave me the total shits on the first time round this loop. Gravel, plus dark, plus big fuck off hill, plus 160% bend, plus locking up the back wheel.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssss.

I'm on a right downer today. What goes up must come down. I'm blaming the TNRC and everyone involved. It's a poison, but it doesn't come with Kool Keith to remedy the situation.

I could take a ton of drugs right now.

How To Feel A Bit Better:

• kill your parents and all your siblings; anything less is unfinished business
  
• never get out of bed
  
• stay hydrated
  

changing doctor and dilute drugs in water can help too?

It's all penguins today.