Tip Top Top Tips & Little tricks..

If you need to look at something just swivel your eyes in that direction, there is no need to move your whole body or even just your head.

Always buy lottery tickets as near to the actual lottery draw as possible to increase your chances of being alive when the draw is made.

If you are going on a date always be alive to the idea that the woman you are meeting might be a man in disguise, check for give away signs like large hair covered hands and a big cock 'n' balls combo in it's trousers.

^^^

. . . that's her.

Add a drop of lavender to your bath and soon, you'll soak yourself calm.

No matter how much your beer drowned brain tells you its safe - a toaster is not a very good way of reheating pizza. I've seen a previous house mate do this, and "fire-up" our kitchen...

Before getting the bath take two diazepam washed down with a can of Stella to help you unwind after a long day of arguing with people on Youtube.

If you have any left over pizza that has gone cold, simply pop it in the toaster to heat it up.

If you have a personal problem, no matter how embarrassing or awkward, just share it with the people on LFGSS and you will find that "a problem shared is a problem halved"

A couple of pints of guiness is a good way of carb loading on the morning of a long winter ride.

Don't wear underpants under your bibshorts. Wear them on the outside instead and you'll look like a superhero.

If you have a personal problem, no matter how embarrassing or awkward, just share it with the people on LFGSS and you will find that "a problem shared is a problem halved"

True

True

Nice gash

wtf is that?

Details please... words or it didnt happen

Clive's arse

If you want cheese on toast, but you are lacking a grill, simply turn a toaster on its side and slide the bread and cheese in.

If i keep it outta the sunlight, I don't always need that cream the doc gave me.

If you want cheese on toast, but you are lacking a grill, simply turn a toaster on its side and slide the bread and cheese in.
With practice you can learn where to place the plate so when the toast pops out, it's automatically plated for you!!

If it ain't broke...
...fix it 'til it is.

Two gems from my Dad, which I've never forgotten...

1. Never tell the truth to a policeman.

2. Unless there is evidence, always assume people are lying.

He's retired now, but he was a Judge for 25 years.

Don't wear underpants under your bibshorts. Wear them on the outside instead and you'll look like a superhero.

People wear pants under bib shorts?!

People wear pants under bib shorts?!

Not since I told then not to.

A couple of pints of guiness is a good way of carb loading on the morning of a long winter ride.

"Guinness", Captain Teetotal.

Not since I told then not to.

ah well, no worries, I always look like a superhero, outside pants or not