Amazingly bad bike related article in the Daily Fail

"**Bi-cyclists **on the other hand, are heroes of the highways...

....because they conjure up pictures of Edwardians in silly pantaloons"

I hope someone she quite likes dies.

Alright mate!?

1) Given the comparatively low number of active women posters

I'm really sorry, but I read it as *comparatively low number of attractive women posters* and I thought, you don't really help your pledge :-)

I hope that next time she is round at Michael Winner's house she desperately needs a big fat poo and when she's gone she wipes her bum but she can't get it clean no matter how much she wipes and wipes and then her bum itches and she has a bit of a dig around and finds something and she gives it a pull and it feels like a massive long tapeworm and it makes her gag but she pulls and pulls and finds a great big massive piece of onion up her bum and she feels really sick and tries to flush but it won't go so she has to pick it out of Michael Winner's bog and chuck it in his cistern and when she comes downstairs looking all flustered he asks her why she flushed his bog about six times.
I know it's a repeat.
I just really want it to happen to her.

It looks like they have reset the comments section.

I thought i would congratulate them.

What a breath of fresh air. Steadfast and excellent journalism!

One or two pointers though, you have failed to mention that cycling is also the favoured transport modus operandi of the illegal immigrant. A recent study out of my bedroom window, gave shocking results. from a catchment group of 6 cyclists 5 of them had brownish skin, and out of those 5, 4 looked like they might have cancer, and of those 4, 3 looked a bit rapey.

In conclusion, 50% of all cyclists are rapist, immigrants who'll give you a tumour!

I hope when she next logs in to her amazon account the first three recommendations are 2 Akon Albums and one Keane

And coldplay

I know it's a repeat.
I just really want it to happen to her.

Thanks. The mental image had started to fade.

reaches for the brain bleach

And Snow Patrol

fixed

I hope that next time she is round at Michael Winner's house she desperately needs a big fat poo and when she's gone she wipes her bum but she can't get it clean no matter how much she wipes and wipes and then her bum itches and she has a bit of a dig around etctetctetc

hahaha repped

I hope she opens her emails and decides to respond to the one from an African chap who wants to give her a million million pounds, when all she has to do is send him her bank details, jewelry box and her first born son.

did anyone notice this?

Yet Brussels is now proposing to make motorists responsible for all accidents involving cyclists, irrespective of who was actually in the wrong.
So if you are driving responsibly along the street and you are hit by a cyclist who has shot a red light, done a wheelie and is listening to his iPod, you will have to pay for damage to the bike and compensation for the cyclist's injuries.
This is even more of an injustice given the way many cyclists ignore the Highway Code, thus putting themselves at risk just as much as **peestrians. **

I hope she is bursting for her morning poo and can't wait until her morning glory has subsided and it's too big a stonker to manouver under the loo seat so she leaves it pointing upwards in the hope that the obligatory poo piss won't come. And it does, and arcs right across the bathroom.

ah, no sorry she's a lady, I forgot.

i hope she is bursting for her morning poo and can't wait until her morning glory has subsided and it's too big a stonker to manouver under the loo seat so she leaves it pointing upwards in the hope that the obligatory poo piss won't come. And it does, and arcs right across the bathroom.

Ah, no sorry she's a lady, i forgot.

wtf! Rofl

@ Gatti-give her a chance to make a typo, in fact thats the editor, or subs job to weed out.
Would be helpful to point out the totally confused way she is mentioning strict liability:-
"Yet Brussels is now proposing to make motorists responsible for all accidents involving cyclists, irrespective of who was actually in the wrong."

The thing about this that dosent sit well with me is that her elderly mum was hospitalised and the person who knocked her over didnt stop. I think thats bang out of order regardless of who was in the wrong.

However based on this article Petronella is pretty much full of shit so I'm going to asume the whole thing was a fabrication. Also i don't know anyone whos been hit by a bicycle so I can only asume that people in her imediate gene pool (inbreeding) are beset with an inability to cross roads.

@ Gatti-give her a chance to make a typo, in fact thats the editor, or subs job to weed out.
Would be helpful to point out the totally confused way she is mentioning strict liability:-
"Yet Brussels is now proposing to make motorists responsible for all accidents involving cyclists, irrespective of who was actually in the wrong."

i just thought "peestrains" was a great word

I hope someone she quite likes dies.

What the fuck?!

oh and

I hope she gets trapped in between a yale locking door and an exterior chub locking door before realising she dosent have keys thus having to wait to be released from her tempoary prison later that day.

But how do we know this?

The article is so full of rant and illogical ravings that it's hard to say any of it is based on fact.

What if said old lady just stepped back after walking out without looking and during the process of stepping back to avoid the cyclist she was about to walk in front of she tripped and fell on her rump.

Why should a cyclist who is largely concerned with actual obstacles on the road notice an old woman performing the "bear necessities" dance on the pavement? Besides... it was dark.

Plus she didn't notice the cyclist, but did notice they had no lights?

And her interpretation of the Cycling England liability proposal is woeful.

I hope she is bursting for her morning poo and can't wait until her morning glory has subsided and it's too big a stonker to manouver under the loo seat so she leaves it pointing upwards in the hope that the obligatory poo piss won't come. And it does, and arcs right across the bathroom.

ah, no sorry she's a lady, I forgot.

superb example.

I hope that when diving for more Nazi gold she gets stung by a jellyfish and the resulting rash forms a permanent mark on her forearm that looks remarkably like the word SCUM.

What can I say? Petsy tricked me. :(

But how do we know this?

The article is so full of rant and illogical ravings that it's hard to say any of it is based on fact.

What if said old lady just stepped back after walking out without looking and during the process of stepping back to avoid the cyclist she was about to walk in front of she tripped and fell on her rump.

Why should a cyclist who is largely concerned with actual obstacles on the road notice an old woman performing the "bear necessities" dance on the pavement? Besides... it was dark.

I hope she arrives home to find that Mum has eaten the last of the Victoria Sponge she was saving for a tea time treat, and the woman she so valiantly defended against cycling scum has left crumbs, plate, and cake knife all over the Tuscan marble work top.

If you're going to have Wikipedia fun, get it right :P

In February 2010, Wyatt's mother was knocked down by a cyclist who Wyatt claimed was riding at night without lights on. Wyatt wrote an article for the Daily Mail, in which she said the collision had caused her to quit cycling.[9] The article went on to describe how she had been mugged "by a youth on a bike who rode on to the pavement, snatched my bag and disappeared at high speed. No one could stop him, even after I yelled that the bag was a fake" and complained that "male cyclophiles are becoming a blot on our highways." Some cyclists reacted angrily to the article. CTC, the national cyclists' organisation suggesting that people should write to the Daily Mail to object. [10] Some users on the London Fixed Gear Single Speed forum set out to vandalise her Wikipedia page, although others objected, asking how it looked when "how it looks when a group of mostly 20something males personally attacks a - let's face it - backwards 40 year old woman who lives with her mother and who once fucked Boris Johnson".[11][12]
http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/2447/71101709.jpg

That will probably be deleted, but it does comply with Wikipedia guidelines... up to a point.