Film spoilers

braveheart
scots are tight bastards

Just fixed that for you

300
italians are untrustworthy slimy bastards

...and that

Which one does he get to boff Patsy Kensit in?

Showgirls
Turns out she's a whore, not a dancer.

300
italians are hard bastards

Italians?

The Wicker Man

Sexfest on an island, girl goes missing, The Equalizer turns up and pokes his nose in, gets burnt alive on a haystack

the wicker man

edward woodward doesn't sleep with brit ekland and gets burnt at the stake for his stupidity

The boat that rocked.

It sank.

invisible man

kevin bacon more annoying than ever, goes invisible, trys to see elizabeth shues norks (good try), creates a bit of havoc, but killed at end, although doesn't die, comes back and gets killed again.

Italians?

^them too

The Village
It's present day, the old dudes are the monsters.

The Prestige
Christian Bale plays twins, they share a wife which is a bit incestuous.

Vanilla Sky/Open Your Eyes
The movie is a dream, the main character's on ice.

The Number 23
Jim Carrey wrote the book himself and is in fact mad after all.

Bachelor party

He gets married.

Pink Flamingos

Fat drag queen eats shit

naked
northerners are hard bastards

nil by mouth
londoners are hard bastards

The Wicker Man

Sexfest on an island, girl goes missing, The Equalizer turns up and pokes his nose in, gets burnt alive on a haystack

That'll teach him.

American Beauty - he's already been shot by his missus

Paranormal Activity - she's possessed and kills him

Ink - He's the daddy

Idiocracy - The time machine is a funfair ride

The High Life - Robert Millar does not win the Tour

Yojimbo - he lets the farmer's son live and kills everyone else

Seven Samurai - There are only 3 left at the end

Roger Rabbit - Judge Doom is a toon

Pink Flamingos

Fat drag queen eats shit

true, this is a very weird movie

^ Is Divine in that?

She's all over it... Classic movie...

She's all over it... Classic movie...

inserts confused silly looking face emoticon

antichrist
girl gets her clit chopped off

antichrist
girl gets her clit chopped off

oooooooof!

and a bloke gets his knackers caved in with a claw hammer.