Why are Aussies so Awesome?

2 pubs damages in earthquake - Kalgoorlie

http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/kalgoorlie-rocked-by-50-quake-20100420-sqay.html

.... why are aussies so awesome?

Becuase the news reports have been most concerned about the damaged pubs... everyone is fine.

fail

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/woman-soaked-in-petrol-lights-cigarette-after-argument-with-partner-at-eagleby/story-e6frfku0-1225855802478

Becuase the news reports have been most concerned about the damaged pubs... everyone is fine.

and skimpy Bree at 5pm

fail

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/woman-soaked-in-petrol-lights-cigarette-after-argument-with-partner-at-eagleby/story-e6frfku0-1225855802478

Logan = fail.

.... why are aussies so awesome?

Hello!?!

flutters eyelashes

We had a client in Logan. I can't say I'm too upset about never having an onsite visit.

Ive spent quite a bit of time bashing around logan a fucked HQ station wagon. Good mate of mine lives up there. Good place!

logan is not and has never been a 'good place'.

hippy did you live in Brisbane?

Hmmm.... maybe it was the gear that was good. Im not really sure.

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'
'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..
' Same for me,' says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'
'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.

logan rhymes with bogan. 'nuff said.

you're a bogan

great joke T. i have one question though - what's an 'outback cafe'?

fair shout... found it on reddit

it's pretty good. and it's not even dirty.

what's the difference between a crab with huge knockers and a greyhound bus terminal?

well, as far as I can tell, one is a crustacean with tits, and the other is a bus stop

fuck! that is heaps funnier than the actual punchline! i am audibly laughing

actual punchline:

'one is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean'

seriously... wipes tear

fuck! thats GOOD!

slaps knee

Keep going, at this rate 'stralia will develop humour in 2345

It's been a while:

Keep going, at this rate 'stralia will develop humour in 2345

never heard of 'steady eddy' then?