Reprographics - The repro man blog

I know it's grim but I'd love to hear these stories!

Edit: New page fail

Fat people take ages to burn and it used to cause a "corking" effect on burnings over the course of the day.

The worst people were the ones who'd decided against conventional forms of either burning or burial.

One dead bloke turned up on the back of a flat-bed transit in three large wicker baskets.

She hated dealing with anyone whose family had whacked them in those American fridgefreezer casket things - now those did produce some noxious fumes.

And then there's the story about the people who all danced to "Great Balls of Fire" when their dearly beloved went into the cremator.

And for the record, my pal has the worst job on the face of the planet.

He has to collect unused/unsold meat and carcasses from butchers throughout the land.

It ain't pleasant, but he's paid a fortune.

My wife went on an inspection of a sewage treatment works for her job a while back and met with the people who deal with fatbergs. Sometimes you get live rats trapped in the ones you're clearing. Also, not paid a bit over minimum wage.

He has to collect unused/unsold meat and carcasses from butchers throughout the land.

I ended up riding behind one of these collection wagons in MCR. Was close to stopping to puke. Smelt similar to the aroma of dead badger on a slow climb in the heat of summer.

Recently he sent everyone in our whatsapp chat a video of him emptying a wheelie bin of maggots. It was the first thing most of the chaps saw that day and is had the desired effect. One was Pat and Mick on the 07.42 to Fenchurch Street...

He used to have a scam for almost everything he collected, but now rules and regulations as well as the HSE have stepped in to ruin his fun.

My younger brother is applying for jobs at the moment.
He's just phoned me to tell me there's a job going for someone to clean hot tubs.
These hot tubs are in a huge gay sauna located in an industrial estate.
I embrace all creeds, colours, genders and lifestyles, but I have a feeling that these particular hot tubs will look like a fucking war zone by the end of a busy 'session'. If they need a dedicated hot tub boy you know they take a lot of hammer, so to speak.

Sweet Jesus...

I didn't think that gay people were allowed in the North of the country, which is why Old Compton Street's full of blokes from Huddersfield and Chorley.

Leeds has a decent gay quarter. A hell of a lot of fun too! Guaranteed not to get your head kicked in. Times have changed on the provinces.

Brilliant, much obliged! There should be a shit jobs thread, it'd get me through the slow days at work.

Lincoln has not embraced the gay, I still get LESBIAN bellowed at me on the street by strangers occasionally when I go back up to see my family.

Yes, I know I am..

Lincoln is proper weird. Web feet capital of England. I reckon they'd shout LESBIAN at me if went again.
My older brother lives near there. One of the reasons i don't go. It's a cursed county.

I was in Wimbledon a few weeks ago and as a direct result of riding a pink bike (the Porklyn), two yoots shouted: "look at that battyman on his pink bike..."

Little pair of fuckers.

The eastern counties main objections to gays and lesbians is that it upset the natural and rightful order of that which they hold in the highest regard. Inbreeding.

Morning folks.

Here's my latest offering.

Sunshine.

I were waiting for the punchline and in the end I found it in my gut.

Ooof

Not the merriest, I'll grant you...

Your more serious stories are fantastic. This one is a real bottom lip quiver-er.

Being a dad has obviously made me soft.

Ouch. Right in the feels.

It was quite hard writing that one. Wasn't my finest hour.

Still think about those kids, wonder where they are.

They may well have wondered where you are now.

They might well have read one or two of these.

I think that came across. I really like the serious ones. Especially in contrast to FA Dave.

Eeesh, been almost exactly there.

I think a few of us have, @BeauNidle - no easy answers to a situation like that!