Daily Mail in cycling shocker!

I hope he goes bald sooner than he was expecting

Fuck off chatters.

:)

I hope in some desperate attempt to be 'down wiv da yoof' he confuses Biggie with Tupac and vice versa, in front of a group of South London council estate teens who then point, laugh, and call him 'Granddad' whilst filming his failure on a camera phone that's better than his.

Uh oh, I've upset Balki

I hope Harriet Harman is draughted in to his constituency and then when election time comes round all the other candidates die suddenly and can't be replaced at the last minute apart from the BNP one and he has to vote for Harriet Harman if he doesn't want to look like the racist he probably is anyway.

Uh oh, I've upset Balki

I just think that there is a line, and you crossed it. Baldness is a serious issue which can cause significant emotional trauma and I dont think it should be joked about on an internet forum.

I hope James Martin falls in an industrial meat grinder whilst on an abbatoir tour.

I hope he yanks out 2 hairs at once when trying to remove nasal hair with tweezers, and it really stings for a brief few seconds.

I hope he buys an ordnance survey map and can't get it to fold back up properly

I hope that the next time he burps a little bit of vomit comes up.

I just think that there is a line, and you crossed it. Baldness is a serious issue which can cause significant emotional trauma and I dont think it should be joked about on an internet forum.

If it helps I'm sitting in a corner and thinking about what I've done

I hope Fruitbat calls him fat at every available opportunity.

I just think that there is a line, and you crossed it. Baldness is a serious issue which can cause significant emotional trauma and I dont think it should be joked about on an internet forum.

no need to start splitting hairs over it :p

I hope he goes to bleed his radiators for the winter and doesn't do it right and gets "patchy" heat.

I hope he loses some of that tacky bling that he wears whilst making bread. He only realizes so whilst eating one of his shit rolls that he just made that he lost a teeth because he was actually chewing on a £25.00 ring bling ring from Argos.

I hope that his favourite pants shrink slightly causing minor discomfort

I hope he purchases a plasma screen TV and forgets to turn it off and gets an image burnt in.

I hope that he doesn't get a card next valentines day

I hope he purchases a plasma screen TV and forgets to turn it off and gets an image burnt in.

I hope that that image is the corner logo for "Red Hot 40+ Wives"

I hope he goes to his office kitchenette and finds that all the bananas are green and the oranges are those hard to peel ones which make his hands all sticky and squirt juice all over his key board.

Oh and yes I forgot to say, James Martin you're a cunt.

Good work guys, took me a while to catch up this morning and I agree with all the above.

LFGSS Voodoo session anyone?

I hope he tries to get back in with the general public by going into in a pub and shouting "drinks on me" at the bar and then everyone pours their drinks on him.

Seems the fat twonk is bulding a new garage, what a pity the planning system means his address is public... anyone fancies calling by when out on the bike

http://planningapplications.winchester.gov.uk/PlanningWeb/Results.aspx?ID=09%2f00228%2fFUL&tab=4&PAGE=1

I hope he goes skiing and becomes out of control and falls down and one leg goes either side of a maturing sapling.

I hope that upon picking up his newspapers or post in the morning he bangs his head on the doorknob

I hope his phone rings while he's chopping spuds and he gets confused and "answers" one of the spuds, wondering why no-one is talking to him at the other end.