Daily Mail in cycling shocker!

There was a young poster called Darwenian
Who couldn't use the search thingying
He posted a lame thread
That got ripped to shreds
And frequented by amateur Fenians

Surely the OP is incredibly incorrect and should read Slimy Electro-head... What a great car though despite the dickhead review...

darwenian posted this in septemeber
he did not search
therefore suffered this haiku

beer beer we want more beer
get the fucking beers in
all the lads are cheering

Old Skool Macc Lads FTW

What flavour?

Pure salty heart stopping goodness.

dar-wen-i-an post-ed this in sep-teme-ber
he did not search
there-fore suff-ered this hai-ku

22 syllables = haiku fail

he bit off the foreskin
of a young richard dawkins
who lost all his religious belief

it was not for the leisure
or sexual pleaseure
but to get to the cheese underneath.

repost.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose dick was so long he could suck it,

I hope he gets in a lift that the last occupant farted in and at the very next floor a group of young women get in too and think it was him who farted.

it was not for the leisure
or sexual pleaseure
but to get to the cheese underneath.

repost.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose dick was so long he could suck it,

He accidentally bit in and then dripped on his chin and now it's too painful to touch it...

I've just read this entire thread and collated most (or at least all the ones that made me laugh) of the "I hopes". Absolutely incredible thread. I have Superprecise winning by a lot.

Not today it's not Donut

Well, namesake, it muthahumpin was last night and I got jolly wet. I also peeled a used jonnie out of my sock after cycling through a fucking river by Hyde Park.

Which is not quite true, but I'd like to moan about being wet nonetheless. Fucking anything than talk about a fucking chef any longer.

fuckity-fuck-fuck.

True dat brutther!

This chef who inspired three hate threads
Found his fridge had no butter for his bread
He got into his car
but the shops were too far
oh we laugh at the petrol-less fat head

This is still a long way off Ed and his Randonneur thread

The tags on that thread were phenomenal.

Just received this:

Dear Mr Schick

Thank you for contacting the PCC with your concerns about the Daily Mail article by James Martin. The PCC has received a considerable number of complaints about this matter.

We will ask the Commission to determine whether there has been a prima facie breach of the Code raised by the article. We will let you know its decision as soon as we can, and hopefully in the next two or three weeks.

In the meantime, I note that the passage that has provoked the most concern has been removed from the online text.

Yours sincerely

Well done to all who wrote in.

I hope he does a bellyflop.

What did you write Oliver?

Just received this:

Well done to all who wrote in.

Likewise.

A form letter,

I feel so used.

I blame smug overrated allegbrity chefs everywhere

I hope he looks through old photos of himself and is retroactively embarrassed by his haircuts and attire.

i hope there's an unpleasant eggy smell from the sink everytime his washing machine is on.

I hope he likes it but neglects to put a ring on it.

I hope he texts someone very important with the message 'fancy getting food in the crown' but fails to notice predictive texting has sent 'fancy getting done in the brown'

Have you had a text like that?

I hope he makes a cup of tea and then walks off while it's brewing, only to forget about it and come back an hour later to make another cup of tea to discover that the original cup of tea has gone stewed and cold and he has to pour the whole lot down the sink and then fish out the clammy teabag with his fingers and put it in the bin before dribbling cold tea all over the floor.