Daily Mail in cycling shocker!

timing fail!

I hope his teeth go yellow.

That happened to me yesterday. It was really shit.

Toothpaste or rape?

edit Balki....edit!

one would hope Balki's tube of "arm and hammer" ran out...

I just saw it in the news, James Martin's a Cunt!

I hope his souffle goes flat

I hope his fingers get stuck in a meat mincer.

I hope his cake does not rise.

I have Balki down as a Euthymol man. James Martin is clearly a Signal with extra whitening twerp.

:(

Arm and hammer triple whitening.

^ Back of the net!

I hope he over cooks his scallops.

triple whitening? impossible.

I hope his omelette gets shell all in it.

James Martin (chef) WAC

I hope he forgets his house keys and has to call for a locksmith, at some expense.

I hope he does a phone in on a radio station to win a Beatles box set and gets the answer wrong. Live. On air.

I'm bang into Sensodyne™ Total Care with Gentle Whitening.

I hope his coaster sticks to the bottom of his glass in public

I hope he trips a little bit on cobbles (whilst someone is watching) and stains his shirt with coffee before work.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/3534534/TV-chef-James-Martins-stepmother-wins-damages-over-ugliest-woman-ever-met-jibe.html

I'm bang into Sensodyne™ Total Care with Gentle Whitening.

*I'veBeen using that for a couple of years.

*I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow (need 4 fillings and no it's not a joke).

And before I forget James Martin (chef) he's a cunt isn't he?

I hope he gets the runs.

Call his manager fiona 02076372529

or email fiona@limelightmanagement.co.UK

I hope his cock gets e-coli