"If you want to ride in the middle of the road pay road tax!"

"Suck my fucking balls you stupid fucking fuck."
"Fuck off you fucking dumb arse motherfucking idiotfuck."
"Go fuck yourself you fucking inbred mongoloid fucktard shitstain."
"Sure."
It looks as if you're eligible for Vulgarity Excise Duty. Sir.

"Yeah, Your Mum!"

Sorry this just made me laugh out loud.

Point out that it's Vehicle Excise Duty and it isn't spent on the roads. It goes into a big government pot and is just as likely to be spent on dropping bombs on innocent citizens in Iraq. Then tell them "well done for funding the bombing of innnocent people".

Best realistic option is to ignore them or laugh.

Can we stop talking to car drivers, it depresses and infuriates me.
fixed

generally i just point out that their opening statement demonstrates that they are a stupid ill informed cunt and that any other debate with them is pointless as they have no clue what they are talking about

for some reason this upsets them

It's your use of paralinguistics.

did we discuss this recently... there is no "road tax" the roads are paid for through taxes period. Assuming you pay taxes then its mute.

Isn't 'Mutes' a brand of titanium frame :p

Isn't 'Mutes' a brand of titanium frame :p

I hear they've got a model known as the "Wan"

I useualy repeat what they have said with my tongue under my bottom lip, something like this

"Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner nernernernerner, NER NER NER!!"

I think it is called Belming

Pure genius.

did we discuss this recently... there is no "road tax" the roads are paid for through taxes period. Assuming you pay taxes then its mute.

moot.

I've done that already, FFS.

moot.

Moots?

And that.

"You're not my real step-mum."

I've never had someone ask me that question, but on consideration would come back with

Please, don't ass-fuck my zen

"Yeah, Your Mum!"

"You're not my Dad"

or
"thats sooooo unfair"

Actually a car pulled out on me last night. I managed to stop an inch or so before the side. The driver put both hands in the air apologetically (no I was'nt 'packing'). I tried to look pissed off, but realised I was doing a really nice trackstand (I usually look like I'm riding a mechanical bull). I did a massive grin, and rode off all embaressed.

or
"thats sooooo unfair"

Actually a car pulled out on me last night. I managed to stop an inch or so before the side. The driver put both hands in the air apologetically (no I was'nt 'packing'). I tried to look pissed off, but realised I was doing a really nice trackstand (I usually look like I'm riding a mechanical bull). I did a massive grin, and rode off all embaressed.

MikeC to the thread, calling MikeC.

Ask them if they've paid their Cunt Tax is a goodun.

Hahaha

I had a variation on this with a hilariously exasperated woman shouting 'Why are you in [sic] the road! Get out [sic] of the road!'

Not only were there parked cars on either so she wouldn't have been able to get past even if I had been gutter hugging, there were a set of traffic lights on red barely 20 yards ahead.

I just looked back and grinned at her in a friendly fashion.

I shout at the cyclist through the window of my car: "Harden the fcuk up!" Always works.

And seriously, I haven't had any driver/cyclist altercation yet either while driving nor cycling. Maybe if I start commuting on the bike...

Ask them if they've paid their Cunt Tax is a goodun.

Simple. Eloquent. Truth.

or
"thats sooooo unfair"

Actually a car pulled out on me last night. I managed to stop an inch or so before the side. The driver put both hands in the air apologetically (no I was'nt 'packing'). I tried to look pissed off, but realised I was doing a really nice trackstand (I usually look like I'm riding a mechanical bull). I did a massive grin, and rode off all embaressed.

MikeC to the thread, calling MikeC.

Yep. This behaviour dissapoints me :)

"You saw I was pulling out. Why didn't you stop!"
Grrrr WAC!! Just the thought of the cunt makes me mad.

this woman pulled out into a cycle lane, blocking it

Harsh - I do that sort of thing to cars if they block my route... I pull infront of them at the lights really blocking their way and make sure to start up nice and slow when it goes green just to piss them off... dead satisfying and its a good revenge to any f****r that blocks a bike lane!