Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

Ha!

who's 'safety mike' ? @Mikey5000 ?!

Some HSE chap who works for Baker Hughes in Aberdeen, his version of panic buying is hooks and zip ties

I love when people you work with have a trait that so defines them it gets appended to their name.

Extra points for alliteration.

We have a Stupid Dave and a Mumble Monster Michael. There is also a much less pc one which I won’t repeat here.

Paedo Pete?

We had a "Cunty Dave" and I also knew a "Crazy Dave"

Not a name combination, but one of my favourite workplace nicknames was "Filth Wizard" which is the moniker we gave to a guy who looked a bit like a wizard and who never washed his hands after going for a piss

We also had a "Pissy Socks" who worked in the same dept as Filth Wizard - he used to take his shoes off when he got into the office and walk about in his socks, including bathroom trips

Forklift driver on a building site I worked on was Dave Orangecock. Favourite pastimes eating Wotsits and watching porn.

We had “Cheese Pooh” Vaughan

I had a boss at a building firm we all called "Russell Love Muscle" because he was an absolute dick

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haha

So basically don’t touch your face after wiping your bum until after you have washed your hands. That’ll take some getting used to.

Fuck that, if something affects the very fabric of your life so drastically, maybe it's not worth living. Come at me corona, if I die, I die.

*scratches chin*

Can you transmit covid-19 through touching your clacker?

Yours or mine?

Yes to both.

what about clacker to clacker?

depends where your clacker has been
if you've been out touching it on handrails and doorhandles then probably yes

just to clarify ... what is a clacker ?

PM'd

I think it would sit on the surface of your clacker ready to spread but you’d need something to push it up the clacker to get it into your system. Unless you have piles.

Moral of the story, put the vibrating butt plug away, you can ride to work without it for a few weeks.