Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

The G8 was over in Belfast...meat wagons everywhere in town, £85 an hour for the police and lo and behold... ;)

My cousin was telling me about this last weekend, they've been shipped out from some sort of prep for the G8 and after a certain point they'll be on 24Hr pay because they have to stay out there,

only if they're will to sleep in a field though

he was a bit gutted because he couldn't go with them because his sister's wedding clashed

For £85 an hour I'd sleep in a field too ;)

[CSB]Every single morning for the last two weeks I've had to get out of bed at 5am go into the living room, out the patio doors and into the garden (in my pants) to scare off a magpie which has taken to sitting in the tree directly outside our bedroom window and endlessly repeating it's irritating football rattle alarm call. The stupid cunt.[/CSB]

Most nights at the moment I'm just about falling asleep for the first time when they start up. Bastards.

Yeah Fuck nature, its shit.

[CSB]Every single morning for the last two weeks I've had to get out of bed at 5am go into the living room, out the patio doors and into the garden (in my pants) to scare off a magpie which has taken to sitting in the tree directly outside our bedroom window and endlessly repeating it's irritating football rattle alarm call. The stupid cunt.[/CSB]

Wanna borrow my air rifle?
Your sorrow has gotta off the charts by now.

if you are able to get up at 5am for whatever reason, you could as well stay up and make yourself a nice cup of coffee.

^^Ha. No thanks man. I'm a nerdy birder. I just like my sleep too.

Back to to the meeeeeeeems.

Nothing more satisfying than popping a magpie.

I'm a real nerdy birder too, but I draw the line at those maddening monotone motherfuckers.

Kill them dead.

Luci having read your book I can picture you standing in the bushes with a big set of binoculars twitching at the "birds".

lol!

book is fantastic

awesome

[CSB]Every single morning for the last two weeks I've had to get out of bed at 5am go into the living room, out the patio doors and into the garden (in my pants) to scare off a magpie which has taken to sitting in the tree directly outside our bedroom window and endlessly repeating it's irritating football rattle alarm call. The stupid cunt.[/CSB]

My best mate is a bird spotting genius. He knows all there is to know about creatures of flight. I had magpies on my window feeder in my flat once and texted him to ask about them / check the potential effect on the feeding habits of the more regular visitors such as great tits and so on. His response : "Magpies are basically cunts". It's all you need to know about em apparently.

"Magpies are basically cunts".

I have an ex who said exactly the same thing. The cited reason was "they eat other birds' eggs and babies and all that".

I did point out, "you eat eggs and little baby animals" but this was not considered to be a valid refutation. Although, on balance, the ex was also a bit of a cunt so maybe that's why.

I have an ex who said exactly the same thing. The cited reason was "they eat other birds' eggs and babies and all that".

I did point out, "you eat eggs and little baby animals" but this was not considered to be a valid refutation. Although, on balance, the ex was also a bit of a cunt so maybe that's why.

Magpies will also eat the eyeballs of live lambs. They are cunts.

And they never tip and don't put their fags out when their finished.

Basically if magpies were tv personalities they would be Jimmy Saville or Stuart Hall.

They regularly flytip where there's no CCTV, too.

They don't flush when shitting in a pub toilet either.

And they talk really loudly into their mobiles on public transport, while spitting on the seats.

And they stop on the left hand side of escalators.

I've heard enough. Fuck the badger cull I'm going after the magpies. The cunts.

Magpies will also eat the eyeballs of live lambs. They are cunts.

Magpies don't get up to anything as nasty as happens in a typical slaughterhouse. Bit much for members of a race that merrily slaughters lambs, having the choice not to, to carp that less sapient animals eat them.

I have to put in a good word for magpies

Their tail feathers make excellent flights for arrows