Crap 'Buzzwords'

We need to kick all these crap buzzwords into the long grass.

I don't like the way sports pundits have started talking about Units. They've got a strong batting unit, a strong attacking unit. He's a big unit. etc etc.

LOL @ Tags

people actually bothering to say ROI rather than return on investment. Whenever people say ROI I think Republic of Ireland....then I instantly go off into a daytime reverie involving lovely Colleens and afternoon pints Mackeson in a snug bar somewhere........

Not a buzz word but.....'anytime soon'. You mean, er, soon?

From a conference call today:

"We need to create a real web on the web see."

"Jump on the tiger and ride the tiger".

I couldn't stop laughing after the second one...

Just read this.

Our MD was talking about the company getting involved in digital media and said “we’re already riding the digital tiger’.
He then went on to compare the office to a ‘hive’ (employees = drones?!), likening the industry to a race in which our car was fuelled by our product and then described someone else as ‘an big, oddly shaped brick’ in the metaphorical ‘wall’ of the company.

So apparently we are a swarm of bees riding a tiger round a racetrack into a wall.

Is the digital tiger green and orange by any chance? if so:

It's all about the Malaprops in my office...

In a meeting last week a Senior Manager said;
"now this is something we have done 100 times before so let's not go away and invent a wheel"

He also declared his latest idea as "my piece of resistance" and regularly talks about negotiating an "absolute mindfield".

If he wasn't such a toxic cunt he would be good value.

My boss talks about "clientelling/CRM" which appears to be what we used to call "getting their phone number and calling them when something comes in."

Some of the email would put David Brent to shame.

Ed The Great is delivering a speech at the moment behind a lectern which proudly proclaims - ‘a better future’. That’s me signed-up then, such foresight and needless branding-consultancy fees. Without it I’d have been adrift.

This morning I am 'optioneering' (DIE CUNT, DIE)

is that german for 'the cunt the?'

anyone who's german can't be all that bad...

"...experience in this area is mission critical..."

From a job advert.

Not for NASA.

^ love it......that would be a real show stopper, if the experience wasn't up to the mission.....

'cookie cutter' someone said to me today, just after I said 'it should be fairly easy if it's been done before'. cookie. FFS.......biscuit at least!

align.

you need to align with x to achieve y. We all sat down and made sure we were aligned with what we were doing.

you need to align with the rest of your team.

Just makes me think about people making sure they are evenly spaced and facing the same direction.

'Grasp the nettle' today from my lecturer.

Your lecturer needs to navigate his circumvent.

Proactive. Just been used at me a for not chasing up a company whose support department I know are ASLEEP!

'not withstanding the fact' is really getting up my balls today. my boss said it twice in one sentence!

I know its been about here previously, but "Streamlining our services....."
Gets right on my tits

Hearts and Minds - fuck off - what you mean is trying to make cunts hate you less

Any fucker that says socialised.

As in:

'I'll speak to him and try and socialise that before the meeting'.

Tossers.

I'm sick of everyone harping on about the so-called fucking Indian Summer. It's just a spot of sunshine for fuck's sake.

Seeing as there's a Credit Crunch, maybe we should all have a Staycation and enjoy this wonderful fucking Indian Summer.

since when did Staycation become the go to word for holidaying in britian, when i was young i had yearly Staycation's and i called them Holidays. and follow up the question 'did you go abroad?' with 'no'

The current buzz for my office is 'power of 3'

whats the power of 3 for this kit design.
whats the power of 3 for this range.

its pretty much what are the 3 key selling points for this range,

even selling points piss's me off as a saying.

I'm sick of everyone harping on about the so-called fucking Indian Summer. It's just a spot of sunshine for fuck's sake.

Seeing as there's a Credit Crunch, maybe we should all have a Staycation and enjoy this wonderful fucking Indian Summer.

The phrase 'Indian Summer' has been in use for over 3 centuries, so it's hardly a buzz word.

You need to take your blinkers off.

I'm sick of everyone harping on about the so-called fucking *Indian Summer*. It's just a spot of sunshine for fuck's sake.

Seeing as there's a Credit Crunch, maybe we should all have a Staycation and enjoy this wonderful fucking Indian Summer.

Racist