Crap 'Buzzwords'

Introducing a new member to the 'team' who will be taking a mainly 'helicopter role'.

pardon?

"I mean, here's Geoff, he's epileptic."

what the hell is a helicopter role?

Someone who hovers around high up looking at 'the big picture' .

Sort of thing.

What the fuck is soco?

Southern Comfort.

What the fuck is Spag Bol ?
And how much Tom P should you put in it ?

What the fuck is Spag Bol ?
And how much Tom P should you put in it ?

I was told by no uncertain terms by a girl from reading I must have led a sheltered life not to know what "Spag Bol" was when I was 18. She was right but for the wrong reasons.

"There's no 'I' in team!" should always be followed with, "aye, but there's a 'you' in cun....."

YES! I am compiling some great replies the next time some Blue Sky base touching fucker uses one of these on me in the next meeting

quickly followed by a defenstration....

531, that is lust, UTFS .... etc....

;)

'lust' in one of my particular pet hates, along with 'sick'

Blanking Screw: designed to smartly fill all those unused holes

There must be a use for that phrase in the corporate world.

'lust' in one of my particular pet hates, along with 'sick'

Someone once said that they'd heard that I was sick in bed. I took it as a compliment at first... :-(

were you bare sick?

now, in this day and age, especially in South London, that question can be interpreted in at least 4 ways.

adds bare to the list

Blanking Screw: designed to smartly fill all those unused holes

There must be a use for that phrase in the corporate world.

Is that not how the banking bigwigs refer to the cash that we keep giving them.

were you bare sick?

Yeah, no pyjamas...

case in point

"I'll squirt that email over to you as I'm having my lunch al-desko today."

I'm guilty of using cricketing vocabulary in the workplace -- a missed cock-up is a dropped catch, dealing with an awkward situation well is playing with a straight bat, unexpected difficulties are bouncers or yorkers, difficult questions are awkward deliveries, etc. etc.

It's not like I've even played the sport for 10 years or so :(

I try and avoid the rest, though, all of which I've heard at some point.

cliveo -- that description is going to be wheeled out the next time someone says "helicopter role". I shall commit it to memory.

I'm guilty of using cricketing vocabulary in the workplace --** a missed cock-up** is a dropped catch,

are you a hooker?

The use of sporting phrases and analogies in the workplace is a good sign of being an utter tool.

"Delivery vehicle"
"Policy straightjacket"
"Going forward..."

The use of sporting phrases and analogies in the workplace is a good sign of being an utter tool.
Thanks. I'd like to think I'm the exception to your little rule, but it's unlikely. I'll blame it on a very English sense of humour and claim that any use is ironic. I might be on something of a sticky wicket in that regard, though.

I don't know if this is a written version of buzzwords, but I've just had an email containing no less than three fonts and four colours in ONE LINE!

are you a hooker?
Nah, I'm too ugly, so to satisfy my urge to charge by the hour and screw people, I became a lawyer.

lol