Figures of speech

I am still consistantly amazed at how (primarily) teenagers (de)construct sentances with the use of 'like' so that they become virtually meaningless....

I do something similar, but use 'fuck' as my punctuation word.

The 'like' thing is often paired with the Aussie Interrogative Intonation. Ya know wot i mean?

I've written tomes on the subject. When I used to give a shit. You can't stop regress.

Make your mind up.

Or make up your mind.

I can't decide.

It depends on whether you want to speed it up or slow it down.

I wanna play around.

I'll tell Em you used that smiley.

At the end of the day, I'll tell Em you used that smiley. End of.

Make your mind up.

Or make up your mind.

I can't decide.

At the end of the day, you've got to Make your mind up. Or make up your mind. I can't decide. End of.

...see there really is no idea or sentiment to which "at the end of the day" and "end of" adds nothing.

Basically, your (sic) quite literally right, at the end of the day. End of. So...

A phrase which seems to have infected my office recently is "what it is" used instead of "the reason I wanted to talk to you" or indeed any other phrase describing why they want to communicate something.

Leading to the rather inelegant "what it is is that it is..."

"What had happened was..." is a common lead-in to a story being told. Ugh!

To be fair, basically, at the end of the day, it's literally correct that you done said that thing, innit, sort of thing.

I'm entitled to my opinion.

people who pronounce chorizo with ezo instead of the spanish chôriʹthô

one is western hemisphere (with a soft z on the -ezo) and one is continental Spanish. neither is wrong.

Opinions are like assessments, judgements or evaluations...everyone's got one.....

that's only your opinion!

Yeah ~enger is really bloody crap, as is all the FTW, FWIW, IMHO and all that bollocks.

I often get a bit annoyed at 'actually' being used in odd ways like at the beginning of a sentence followed by a comma.

What about people constantly using 'jealous' when they actually mean 'envious'? As in 'I am jealous of your lovely DA crankset'! What?! In defence of the anal-retentiveness of all this, caring about this stuff shows that you strive to express yourself succinctly and exactly.

the boss i had before him used to say "that was a fraudulent slip!". which is so gloriously meta-wrong i still use it all the time.

'Meta-wrong'. Excellent phrase! If a bit anal-retentive.

I once blurted out "err that's a bit of a Freudian clit, umm slit, err I mean slip.'"

I like to say 'splitting ends' when I actually mean 'splitting hairs' but noone has EVER corrected me about it, for fuck's sake.

Freudian slop (playing Devils Advocaat for a moment)

Opinions are like strings, every yoyo wants one.

I have noticed that German people often pepper their English with "actually".

Opinions are like shallots or leeks. Oh no, hang on, that's onions.

What about how some americans say I-raq

fixed.

"Black dialect is an expressive, vivid, living language...if we reject it, how little have we gained, and how much have we lost?"

Accept that everyone looks, acts, and even talks differently...if you don't want to use certain words or phrases, don't.

Wanting to be heard is something that's internal to the person regardless of what language or words they use.
Same as wanting to be seen by wearing certain types of outfits.
Teenagers will always go against what 'grown ups' do or tell them to do.

what's interesting here is your identification of the topic with two groups that almost certainly contribute the most to the enrichment and extension of the day-to-day UK English language - black culture and teenagers. These two areas yield words and phrases that are brilliant, and the mutations you get with teens reappropriating stuff is great. I don't find that stuff annoying at all and I really get the sense of the language expanding (and contracting again as words become dated and are replaced).

What really gets most people's goat though is largely American-derived. Two areas can be seen to be stunting the language's growth rather than pushing it to develop: internet-speak and corporate-speak. At the corporate level it takes on a clearly Orwellian function as it is used for no other reason than to force people to conform. I'm not sure if you've ever worked in an environment where this kind of language is rife Scott - I've a feeling you have managed to avoid it, and I envy you if you have - but it is odious and painful for anyone who has a mind of their own to sit through days of hearing words, phrases and contructions employed to promote this sense of a special, serious world of "being at work". "Can you action that?" instead of "Can you do that?"; "Can I have that by close of play?" rather than " Can I have that by the end of the day?"; "flag up", "just giving you a heads up", "close off" - the list goes on and on, all meaningless, charmless phrases whose perpetuation is enabled by the complicity of people who, fundamentally, wish to be able to feed their family and pay their mortgage. For those few people who don't buy into it, who wish to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of verbs like "to farm" or "to leverage", the simplest meeting about the month ahead becomes utterly soul-destroying.

Agreed with that^ excellent post. the OP referred to the latter of the two types of speech. thanks.

what's interesting here is your identification of the topic with two groups that almost certainly contribute the most to the enrichment and extension of the day-to-day UK English language - black culture and teenagers. These two areas yield words and phrases that are brilliant, and the mutations you get with teens reappropriating stuff is great. I don't find that stuff annoying at all and I really get the sense of the language expanding (and contracting again as words become dated and are replaced).

What really gets most people's goat though is largely American-derived. Two areas can be seen to be stunting the language's growth rather than pushing it to develop: internet-speak and corporate-speak. At the corporate level it takes on a clearly Orwellian function as it is used for no other reason than to force people to conform. I'm not sure if you've ever worked in an environment where this kind of language is rife Scott - I've a feeling you have managed to avoid it, and I envy you if you have - but it is odious and painful for anyone who has a mind of their own to sit through days of hearing words, phrases and contructions employed to promote this sense of a special, serious world of "being at work". "Can you action that?" instead of "Can you do that?"; "Can I have that by close of play?" rather than " Can I have that by the end of the day?"; "flag up", "just giving you a heads up", "close off" - the list goes on and on, all meaningless, charmless phrases whose perpetuation is enabled by the complicity of people who, fundamentally, wish to be able to feed their family and pay their mortgage. For those few people who don't buy into it, who wish to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of verbs like "to farm" or "to leverage", the simplest meeting about the month ahead becomes utterly soul-destroying.

Can we have that in English please!
;)

I way prefer can you action that to can you do that. Action is a much prettier word
It also means something different to do. (make happen, whether you do it or delegate it)

Not that anyone's ever said it to me (or I've said it to anyone)... fortunately I've never worked anywhere where management speak happens. So obviously I am most qualified to comment

I also appear to have forgotten how to structure sentences and punctuate but I'm finding it quite liberating

god I'm bored.

It's all the fault of bloody Americans. As usual.

Digression time.I started this shit so im allowed to. The variation that Linton Kwesi Johnson brought to English language is a prime example of what P.J mentions as an improvement to language.(google some poems if unfamiliar) London based, relevant here and he is the only living poet to have been published as a Penguin classic.
Now "Stan firm inna Inglan" people. Ride hard.

I'm more used to an environment that yields language such as "I don't give a fuck if your knuckles are bleeding...if you can't do it, fuck off and i'll get someone in who can"...and, "every fucking one of you is stopping late tonight until this is done...if i have to stay then so do you"...."Don't fucking disturb me today, i don't care what the fucking problem is....deal with it"...followed by..."why the fuck didn't you come and ask me....do you realise how much that's cost us?"...oh how i miss working in a bouncy castle factory!

i hate these four americanisms the most:

"write me"
"go get"
"do the math"
"fyi"