F**K You! You C**T!! I've just been sworn at!

I was out on my road bike last week on the Gower and a woman was coming the other way down a really narrow lane towards me, though there was plenty of room she still decided to swerve into the roadside to 'avoid' me. The car smashed all over the road and I stopped to see if she was ok for my trouble I recieved an earfull of verbal and a 'citizens arrest' for dangerous driving. She started screaming and telling the gathering crowd that I had forced her off the road (absurd given that I weigh 170lbs on a carbon roadbike and she was in vauxhall zafira). Luckily the police arrived before the crowd of locals could tie me to the stake and light the fuse.

Needless to say the policeman told the woman she was a knob and I was allowed on my way.

I "politely" asked a fat scooter fruit to move aside so I could get into the gap he was blocking. This quickly escalated ino a shouting match, all good fun! As traffic moved and I squeezed past and the raging mad scooter rider told me that "everyone hates your bloody cyclists", and that I should "get a hair cut". I almost fell off my bike laughing at this zinger of a comeback, but managed to maintain control and roll of into the sunset.

Now my hair is a bit wild, and does look rather daft sticking out of my helmet, but I think he was just jealous because he didn't have any of his own left.

Scooter in gap makes me very angry....

It makes me want to roar like a lion.

GRRRRoooOOOWL!

I almost fell off my bike laughing at this zinger of a comeback, but managed to maintain control and roll of into the sunset.

Manifest contempt show fail. :)

GRRRRoooOOOWL!

I "politely" asked a fat scooter fruit to move aside so I could get into the gap he was blocking. This quickly escalated ino a shouting match, all good fun! As traffic moved and I squeezed past and the raging mad scooter rider told me that "everyone hates your bloody cyclists", and that I should "get a hair cut". I almost fell off my bike laughing at this zinger of a comeback, but managed to maintain control and roll of into the sunset.

Now my hair is a bit wild, and does look rather daft sticking out of my helmet, but I think he was just jealous because he didn't have any of his own left.

That was Tynan.

The pharmacologist swore to me it would never happen again.

Good job I always carry a spare pair of under pants.

oh Balki... you animal!

The best come back i have had was at a woman who cut me up and shouted at me, i just looked at her and pretended i was in shock at the very sight, i tensed up and leant away acting as if that attempt to slay me down me was no longer in my thoughts because i was comlpetely shocked and overcome by her outstanding brutish ugliness.

scrabbling to get my back away i shouted the words "Shit. fuck...uuurgh ugly!"

Her face dropped like a stone, probably did some serious damage emotionaly but it brought a quick end to the banal conversation about our road side manner

Guy in a Mondeo on friday night around the fulham / kings road area, changing lanes in heavy traffic without signalling. As i ride past i suggested it would be a good idea if he used the little switch located next to his steering wheel. Turn around and see the window cleaner jets go off. There is no hope for some people.

As i ride past i suggested it would be a good idea if he used the little switch located next to his steering wheel. Turn around and see the window cleaner jets go off.

Sounds like a pretty funny visual comeback by the driver to be honest!

Sounds like a pretty funny visual comeback by the driver to be honest!

Never use sarcasm to make a point eh.