Football

..and then went into terminal decline

Pow wow.

This season, Clive...

clive if your mob don't get out of the group stages you'll cost us one of our 4 places in the champions league, after your piss poor efforts last year combined with united not qualifying either the co efficients are looking sketchy

tell your boys to buck their ideas up a bit please or 3rd might be the new trophy next year

Seems like Maureen is already cracking up.

Worst start to the season by any Chelsea manager in the Abramovich era.

Desperate for goals when Daniel Sturridge is scoring for fun.

Boo's already ringing around Stamford Bridge. It's rapidly becoming like the Emirates, but with more embarrassing banners and plastic flags.

There were no boos nor, incidentally, plastic flags there last night.

From the Corniad (with added emphasis for those whose senses are obviously in decline).

Clive left early to avoid the queues on the District Line.

Clive left early to avoid the queues on the District Line so his butler didn't get stuck in traffic in his massive fuckoff land rover.

ftfy

Football brain in a jar Johnathon Wilson on Mourinho's return..
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/news/20130918/jose-mourinho-chelsea-basel-champions-league/?sct=hp_wr_a5&eref=sihp

Cornie, are you paid by the guardian?
You're even using their catchphrases now.

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be..."

Clive left early to avoid the queues on the District Line.

I did not take the District Line nor did I leave early.

I love the way you deny the District Line bit first, as if it would be a greater slur on your character than leaving the game early.

He didn't even deny Chalf's adjusted quote!

Referee was actually quite good this evening.

Someone hacked Clive's account while he was at the match.

It might have been MrsO.

clive if your mob don't get out of the group stages you'll cost us one of our 4 places in the champions league, after your piss poor efforts last year combined with united not qualifying either the co efficients are looking sketchy

tell your boys to buck their ideas up a bit please or 3rd might be the new trophy next year

If only Liverpool had qualified for Europe, they could show the other teams how it's done. Still there's always the pre-season tour of Norway to look forward to. Or maybe have a word with AndyW and see if they can resurrect the Isle of Man football tournament or something.

This'll fuck things up:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/24160879

The hottest it got to here in the summer was 47deg. Qatar gets much, much hotter.

The Qatari's will be seriously pissed off though.

I imagine that the WC was always planned to be in winter. From when the first brown envelope slipped into Sepp's pocket.

The issue with this region is that during the summer people flock from here as soon as temperatures rise. In London, the retailers refer to this influx as "Arab Season" and most of the businesses in Edgware Road as well as the hotels of Knightsbridge, Kensington and Park Lane make their money for the year during this period.

The Qatari's were banking on people being there for six weeks, as well as attracting the rest of the GCC countries and their dignitaries because they firmly believe that Qatar will be the new Dubai in about a decade. The WC was supposed to be the cherry on their rather warm cake. Believe me - there's NOTHING in Qatar, nothing at all. They're hoping to build it all in under a decade.

Unfortunately, it's actually quite warm in Qatar during their winter too so the players are going to need to hydrate every fifteen minutes otherwise there'll be serious cases of heatstroke.

sounds like a recipe for some really excellent, fast paced, technical and dynamic football.

Highly unlikely.

Which should suit England down to the ground!

A number of people from this thread have been to football with me. None has ever seen me leave early. I don't leave games early.

The last time I left a game early was about five or six years ago. Itt was the last time I took my father to a match about a year before he died. He had to meet my mother after the game at Victoria Coach station where they were booked on a bus home. As the second half started he became more and more anxious about making it back on time. I was also a little concerned as the tube can be quite crowded after a game and he was becoming both physically and mentally frail.

To alleviate his concerns and to ensure that he was not crushed on the tube, we left with about 10 minutes remaining. At that point Chelsea were leading but as we left the ground I heard a slight cheer which indicated that the opposition had equalised. Only later did I discover that Chelsea then came back to win the game.

I don't leave games early.

Do you have a man in a suit drive you around in a Range Rover though?

I occasionally wear a suit while driving my Land Rover Defender. Does that count?

Usually though, Clive drives in the buff.

Thanks Andy. THANKS A FUCKING LOT.