Football

Torres speaketh: -

"It is the dream for every top class footballer to play at a top class club and now I can do that."

Ha!

Ashley Cole is the only English player who is the best player in his position in the world and we got him for £5million and managed to off-load the ignoble Gallas to boot.

Oh yes, Agent Gallas. Not our best bit of business.

It's double March this year.

Does that mean The Dirty Russian Chavs will get knocked out the Champions League twice?
Fuck me I can't wait for that

^ Ha!

Mike, you really need to chill, duder...

Oh dear. The Merseyside franchise of the Boston Red Sox has blown a record fee for its best player on an injured player with a dubious temperament who is more likely to be serving time in Walton Prison this time next year than challenging for the Champions League.

It was dangerous enough to go to Liverpool night clubs with Gerrard on the loose. Doublely so now.

Melt down....

But the way, thanks Steve Clarke for persuading Torres to come.

So:
Dean Moxey gone to CP (great, just fucking great. nice one)
Ayala to arrive "later".
Commons gone.
Sammon chooses the bright lights of Wigan. (if we ever really stood a chance).

Forest and Leicester both throwing cash around with gay abandon.

Does liverpool ever buy anyone that isn't injured?

Guardian says £1.5 million net spend for liverpool, so thats not too bad i guess.

#prays andy carroll is the new peter beardsley

For all his ugliness, Beardsley had some class. Look at Carroll's form from Wikipedia. A car crash.

Born in Gateshead Tyne and Wear Carroll attended Brighton Avenue Primary School and Joseph Swan SchoolCarroll has been involved in many off-the-pitch incidents in his career. On 14 September 2008, Carroll was arrested by police in Newcastle responding to a report that a woman had been assaulted, and later accepted a police caution for assault. On 7 December 2009, he was arrested in the aftermath of a nightclub fight, again in Newcastle, accused of smashing glass in a man's face. He was charged with assault and in October 2010 he pleaded guilty to common assault and was fined £1,000. He was also ordered to pay £2,500 compensation.He was also involved in an incident on the training ground which allegedly left teammate Steven Taylor with a broken jaw though no charges were filed according to police. Carroll reportedly suffered a broken hand in the incident, and he was shortly photographed in a pop concert with bandages to both hands.Then-Newcastle manager Chris Hughton and club representatives declined to comment any further on the incident. On 18 October 2010, Carroll was charged with assaulting a former girlfriend. Claiming self-defence, and having given a local hotel as his address, Carroll was granted bail on the condition that he resides with Newcastle captain Kevin Nolan until the case resumes in January. The charges were later dropped due to lack of evidence. Two days following his bail, Carroll's car was set on fire whilst parked on Nolan's driveway, with the club captain's garage door also being daubed with obscenities.Carroll and his ex-girlfriend have a daughter, born 15 September 2009.
Whilst on international duty, Carroll, [COLOR=#0645ad]Scott Sinclair and were sent home from the England U-19s squad after breaking a curfew on 14 October 2007 during preparation for a match against Romania U-19s. Carroll was also involved in a training ground fight with teammate Charles N'Zogbia over a late tackle from the Frenchman, but then-Newcastle manager Joe Kinnear decided not to punish the two.

Compare that to Beardsley

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Beardsley[/ame]

Any Gooners fancy a pre/postmatch pint tonight with yours truly?

so chelsea 'fans' you spent 50 million on a player who's not looked his best this season and his pace is dwindling. Still killer in front of goal though. Where do you see him fitting in?

I think John Terry'll be first to yentz Torres

I think John Terry'll be first to yentz Torres

Cashley will have already text him his number...

this looks so wrong

I know, his highlights are fading

here is a really good article which sums up the liverpool policy for the next few years

Soccernomics
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/sport/paulkelso/100015034/soccernomics-why-liverpool-and-john-w-henry-will-not-beat-the-market-on-transfer-deadline-day/

here are the 12 commandments

1. A new manager wastes money on transfers: don’t let him
   
2. Use the wisdom of crowds (take opinions on players from a number of coaches)
   
3. Stars of recent World Cups or European Championships are overvalued: ignore them
   
4. Certain nationalities are overvalued (Brazilians and Dutch, for example)
   
5. Older players are overvalued
   
6. Centre-forwards are overvalued; goalkeepers are undervalued
   
7. Gentlemen prefer blondes; identify and abandon ’sight-based prejudices’ (blonde players are, sub-consciously, disproportionately popular with scouts because they stand out from a distance)
   
8. The best time to buy a player is when he is in his early twenties
   
9. Sell any player when another club offers more than he is worth
   
10. Replace your best players even before you sell them
    
11. Buy players with personal problems, and then help them deal with their problems
    
12. Help your players relocate
    

David Luiz - Great buy, a necessity and he'll be the future of our defence, with both Alex & Terry injured for 30% of the last 2 seasons that's that part sorted, van Aanholt and Bruma to gain vital experience at Leicester they'll be able to play a full part next season.

Torres - Meh. £50M on for a player that seems like he's past his best is risky, I really hope that I'm wrong but I'm not excited about him coming in, I'm guessing that either Drogba or Anelka is on their way out this summer.

Did Wenger write all of those?

so chelsea 'fans' you spent 50 million on a player who's not looked his best this season and his pace is dwindling. Still killer in front of goal though. Where do you see him fitting in?

Up front along side any permutation of Drogba, Anelka, Kalou or Malouda with Lampard, Cole, Boswinga Ramieres and Essien providing.

Will be a little different from Liverpool

Did Wenger write all of those?

Yep, textbook scenarios for: Henry, Overmars, Petit, Edu, Anelka, Toure, Adebayor, Ljundberg the list doesn't stop...

Up front along side any permutation of Drogba, Anelka, Kalou or Malouda with Lampard, Cole, Boswinga Ramieres and Essien providing.

Will be a little different from Liverpool

Don't forget Yossi Clive
and the £5mn you paid for him

Yep, textbook scenarios for: Henry, Overmars, Petit, Edu, Anelka, Toure, Adebayor, Ljundberg the list doesn't stop...

Don't forget Wiltord.

I do everything I can to forget Wiltord.

Brian Sewell comments on yesterday's transfer madness.....

by Brian Sewell

AS one who has always struggled to maintain a full complement of staff that can attend to my various needs, be that preparing an elderflower and lemon curd 'toastie' at 4am or discussing who would win in a fight between Proust and Baudelaire (Proust had the superior reach, one feels), I have a certain kinship with the teams of the Premiership at this time of the year.

Thus, I have cast an eye over the transfer dealings and picked out the Mozarts from the Salieris:

**Fernando Torres, Liverpool to Chelsea, £50m
**For the price of Rubens' Massacre Of The Innocents, the coltish Spaniard has escaped the Augean stables of Liverpool for the cultured sanctuary of Chelsea.

One can only imagine his sense of relief at fleeing the birthplace of Cilla Black, a creation I had the misfortune of meeting at a George Melly soiree in '73 and was a five-foot crystallisation of screeching common. Ghastly.
**Andy Carroll, Newcastle to Liverpool, £35m
**Costing the same as Van Gogh's Irises, however this transfer evokes a far greater sense of impending madness and suicide in the mind of the viewer. One feels that if DH Lawrence had intended Lady Chatterley's Mellors to have been portrayed by a wookie, young Andrew would have been the result.

My good friend the Earl of Carlisle is both a keen farmer and combatant in the sport of kings and some recent accounting difficulties forced him to part with his prized Arabian to purchase a more prosaic but much-needed Shire horse. Standing as Mr Carroll does at approximately 17 hands, I trust the analogy is not lost on Liverpool's followers.

**Andy Reid, Sunderland to Blackpool, Undisclosed
**The delightfully charming Ian Holloway, who puts one in mind of a character from Midsummer Night's Dream coaxed into a suit, has refused to discuss the price of this arrangement but it is believed to be almost as much as a camomile tea and a Chelsea bun at the National Portrait Gallery. Proof that Blackpool have more financial muscle than first imagined.

But I cannot approve of Blackpool as a resort ever since it became associated with that ghastly Middleton woman. Quite how she dares to insinuate herself into William's royal inner circle when I happen to know for a fact that her father can operate a stapler is beyond me.

**Merouane Zemmama, Hibernian to Middlesbrough, approximately £200,000
**I have absolutely no idea what any of those words mean.

here is a really good article which sums up the liverpool policy for the next few years

Soccernomics
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/sport/paulkelso/100015034/soccernomics-why-liverpool-and-john-w-henry-will-not-beat-the-market-on-transfer-deadline-day/

here are the 12 commandments

1. A new manager wastes money on transfers: don’t let him
   
2. Use the wisdom of crowds (take opinions on players from a number of coaches)
   
3. Stars of recent World Cups or European Championships are overvalued: ignore them
   
4. Certain nationalities are overvalued (Brazilians and Dutch, for example)
   
5. Older players are overvalued
   
6. Centre-forwards are overvalued; goalkeepers are undervalued
   
7. Gentlemen prefer blondes; identify and abandon ’sight-based prejudices’ (blonde players are, sub-consciously, disproportionately popular with scouts because they stand out from a distance)
   
8. The best time to buy a player is when he is in his early twenties
   
9. Sell any player when another club offers more than he is worth
   
10. Replace your best players even before you sell them
    
11. Buy players with personal problems, and then help them deal with their problems
    
12. Help your players relocate
    
    

From "Why England Lose". I am sure I said this before here, but well worth a read.