Advice For New Members

it was something early from the smiths, i can't remember which though

arse.

it was something early from the smiths, i can't remember which though

arse.

Dear oh dear - clearly not the right branch of the family?
;-)

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

oh cheer up old chum

Dear oh dear - clearly not the right branch of the family?
;-)

i'm a Hamilton-Smythe actually but like the pulp song i'm in love with the common people

The phrase 'tragic irony' is much over used but I think it's appropriate here; Platini's correct but I'm not allowed to rep him.

i'm Psmythe actually the p is entirely silent

fixed

CC I've just repped you good style; anyone who references PG Wodehouse is a friend of mine.

The phrase 'tragic irony' is much over used but I think it's appropriate here; Platini's correct but I'm not allowed to rep him.

Better give it to the slow Rupert in second place then Will.
Scant compensation for the missing chin and lack of rhythm, I know...

EDIT: Oh no, don't, he didn't know the title did he?

fuck will, you have been here three months and managed to get on the first page of the rep points list. 3 blobs in 3 months, with only 380 posts. hippy is only one above you and he posted 15000 times. something fishy going on here...

In fairness to hippy, you should bear in mind that repping was only introduced in July this year...

exactly, it's joined date, not reputation points that matter.

these johnny-come-latelys and their multiple login rep hogging scenario..

1. 54% of forum members don't have a clue what irony is.
   

I learnt everything I know about irony from *Alanis Morissette!
*

... bearing out what cliveo said...
;-)

In fairness to hippy, you should bear in mind that repping was only introduced in July this year...

I'd rep you for that.. if it let me :)

Had a POD (signature, Proof Of Delivery) today from someone called Katie Hearsex. Just thought I'd share...

i once had a customer whos credit card said Mrs A Hole.. i had to turn away so i didnt laugh in her face...

In fairness to hippy, you should bear in mind that repping was only introduced in July this year...

true true. i didnt mean to single out hippy (but i clearly did it anyway. i mean 15000 is a lotta posts). my apologies to the man and the legend.

1. Use the search. Almost any technical question you have will already have been asked so just keep looking.
   
2. Once you've done that you can ask a more specific question; don't forget to add that you have already done a search.
   
3. Don't make your first post an expression of your prejudices.
   
   1. If you get some grief, take it on the chin. Don't be defensive. DON'T quote and try to answer every piece of criticism . Be self-deprecating.
      
4. Don't come across like you already know everyone and everyone is your mate.
   
5. Look at the members' list and see who has been here a long time and who has the best reputation. You don't want to get into an argument with these people in your first week.
   
6. Don't try and make out you know more than you do.
   
7. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't be earnest; unless the subject is death or serious injury when it's best to start off serious until people understand your sense of humour.
   
   1. Relax. If you're an interesting, intelligent, basically decent person then you will be welcomed. Don't try too hard. Be yourself; if you are a twat then being ridiculed on here is the least of your worries.
      
   2. Never take advice off an ageing courier.
      
8. villa-ru
   

1. Never take advice off an ageing courier.
   
   
   

1. never listen to anything an ex-courier has to say. they are all so bitter and twisted.
   

Back on track with the list...

1. Use the search. Almost any technical question you have will already have been asked so just keep looking.
   
2. Once you've done that you can ask a more specific question; don't forget to add that you have already done a search.
   
3. Don't make your first post an expression of your prejudices.
   
4. If you get some grief, take it on the chin. Don't be defensive. DON'T quote and try to answer every piece of criticism . Be self-deprecating.
   
5. Don't come across like you already know everyone and everyone is your mate.
   
6. Look at the members' list and see who has been here a long time and who has the best reputation. You don't want to get into an argument with these people in your first week.
   
7. Don't try and make out you know more than you do.
   
8. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't be earnest; unless the subject is death or serious injury when it's best to start off serious until people understand your sense of humour.
   
9. Relax. If you're an interesting, intelligent, basically decent person then you will be welcomed. Don't try too hard. Be yourself; if you are a twat then being ridiculed on here is the least of your worries.
   
10. Never take advice off an ageing courier.
    
11. Chris Crash is posting from a secure mental hospital. Don't be too hard on him
    
12. give asm rep, as since he has suddenly acquired 2 little green boxes, he wants to have more than anyone else. Also, rate all of his threads as 5 stars.
    13.despite what you read in the papers and the cycle show guide never ever refer to a fixed gear bike as a "fixie".
    
13. You are not new to "the scene". There is no "scene", it's just a bunch of people who ride bikes.
    
14. If you do happen to be a Tory, keep schtumm about it if you ever want to get (+) rep from Platini...
    
15. It's/its; your/you're; there/their/they're; our/are - oar Platini will fucking kill you.
    
16. always rock out with your cock out
    
17. If Tynan invites you to go to a Mosque with him, DO NOT GO!
    
18. Don't ever spell Arrospok correctly, even if someone asks you how to.
    
19. OTP means Other Thread Pisshead, which is a polite forum way of asking you to remove yourself from the vicinity.
    
20. Some advice for new members is actually a crock of shit! (apart from 19.)
    
21. Leave me alone.
    
22. ignore anything hippy says
    
23. Murtle is allways guilty, until proven innocent.
    
24. villa-ru
    
25. never listen to anything an ex-courier has to say. they are all so bitter and twisted.
    
26. 54% of forum members don't have a clue what irony is.
    101: Don't mizzle with the dizzle if you ain't got no gizzle
    

oh, I nearly forgot:

101, appendix B/988-0: Remember to stizzle before you quizzle, else you get shiznit in the fizzle.

Piss off, SnoopEminemDreDog.

1. Use the search. Almost any technical question you have will already have been asked so just keep looking.
   
2. Once you've done that you can ask a more specific question; don't forget to add that you have already done a search.
   
3. Don't make your first post an expression of your prejudices.
   
4. If you get some grief, take it on the chin. Don't be defensive. DON'T quote and try to answer every piece of criticism . Be self-deprecating.
   
5. Don't come across like you already know everyone and everyone is your mate.
   
6. Look at the members' list and see who has been here a long time and who has the best reputation. You don't want to get into an argument with these people in your first week.
   
7. Don't try and make out you know more than you do.
   
8. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't be earnest; unless the subject is death or serious injury when it's best to start off serious until people understand your sense of humour.
   
9. Relax. If you're an interesting, intelligent, basically decent person then you will be welcomed. Don't try too hard. Be yourself; if you are a twat then being ridiculed on here is the least of your worries.
   
10. Never take advice off an ageing courier.
    
11. Chris Crash is posting from a secure mental hospital. Don't be too hard on him
    
12. give asm rep, as since he has suddenly acquired 2 little green boxes, he wants to have more than anyone else. Also, rate all of his threads as 5 stars.
    13.despite what you read in the papers and the cycle show guide never ever refer to a fixed gear bike as a "fixie".
    
13. You are not new to "the scene". There is no "scene", it's just a bunch of people who ride bikes.
    
14. If you do happen to be a Tory, keep schtumm about it if you ever want to get (+) rep from Platini...
    
15. It's/its; your/you're; there/their/they're; our/are - oar Platini will fucking kill you.
    
16. always rock out with your cock out
    
17. If Tynan invites you to go to a Mosque with him, DO NOT GO!
    
18. Don't ever spell Arrospok correctly, even if someone asks you how to.
    
19. OTP means Other Thread Pisshead, which is a polite forum way of asking you to remove yourself from the vicinity.
    
20. Some advice for new members is actually a crock of shit! (apart from 19.)
    
21. Leave me alone.
    
22. ignore anything hippy says
    
23. Murtle is allways guilty, until proven innocent.
    
24. villa-ru
    
25. never listen to anything an ex-courier has to say. they are all so bitter and twisted.
    
26. 54% of forum members don't have a clue what irony is.
    101: Don't mizzle with the dizzle if you ain't got no gizzle (appendix B/988-0: Remember to stizzle before you quizzle, else you get shiznit in the fizzle.)
    

Piss off, SnoopEminemDreDog.

@RPM - Please refer to no.23 ;)

Piss off, SnoopEminemDreDog.

ah but *you *weren't there on Sunday, so *you *don't get it

grumpy old pisshead!

Sparkling water drinking small-bore rifle competitorenger