Bird Advice

cut off your ear and send it to her

So, to summarise, jimmy_fingers hasn't called her and wonders why she's gone quiet on him?

Hmm, not tough to solve this is it.

Ahh, I've got it now. She's fucking Phillippe.

But that picture of your face that you glued to my mansexdoll was enough for me.

nice, i didn't think it would be that easy.x

cut off your ear and send it to her

If he really loves her he'd cut off his knob and send it to her.

Ahh, I've got it now. She's fucking Phillippe.

Filthy Phil is slipping her his dirty French Le' Coq

they are both probably laughing at poor old Jimmy fingers right now..

get Phillippe to cut his knob off and send it to her,if she replies then you know shes ignoring you.

Just goes to show a French Coq beats a finger any day!

stop thinking about her, you are wasting your time and not getting anything useful done.
have a power wank (lube, filthy porn, favorite wank sock, whatever turns you on) but think of somebody else not her.
wait for her to call you wondering why you haven't been in touch.
basically HTFU and stop being an emotional child, your ego/super ego needs to win over the primal id, at the moment you are a randy primate crossed with a child that's lost it's dummy (nipple substitiute) the sooner you stop this contest in your psyche and start being a human being the better.

stop thinking about her, you are wasting your time and not getting anything useful done.
have a power wank (lube, filthy porn, favorite wank sock, whatever turns you on) but think of somebody else not her.
wait for her to call you wondering why you haven't been in touch.
basically HTFU and stop being an emotional child, your ego/super ego needs to win over the primal id, at the moment you are a randy primate crossed with a child that's lost it's dummy (nipple substitiute) the sooner you stop this contest in your psyche and start being a human being the better.

thats what you need...a good slap from Mr Smith. tough love.

As long as she doesn't invite you to a mosque it's all good as far as I can see...

I'm guessing it's your chain line/tension. It's normally one of the two.

the look of satisfaction on his face is quite comical

Bird?
You are Michael Caine in Alfie and ICM GBP5...

the look of satisfaction on his face is quite comical

i dunno? i don't think she's faking it?

I met this girl, known her for a while but we went on dates, got on even more than usual, got hammered, danced, did wild sexy times, "see you again soon I hope!" etc etc, the usual bollocks.

Don't hear from her for a fortnight. Couple of texts, couple of calls. Nothing.

Then out the blue "Sorry I don't think we should see each other again, I've just started seeing someone".

Fucking women mate, WHO KNOWS?

I met this girl, known her for a while but we went on dates, got on even more than usual, got hammered, danced, did wild sexy times, "see you again soon I hope!" etc etc, the usual bollocks.

Don't hear from her for a fortnight. Couple of texts, couple of calls. Nothing.

Then out the blue "Sorry I don't think we should see each other again, I've just started seeing someone".

Fucking women mate, WHO KNOWS?

what a slag!

it's only one date, at least you haven't been going out for ages, share financial shit/flat/children/whatever.

count yoself lucky

We met and did it all again after that bloke fucked off. Then the same happened! I'm now a bitter and cold-hearted crank, and loving it!

As long as she doesn't invite you to a mosque it's all good as far as I can see...

Brilliant! I'd rep you if I could mate.

As I said, I wanted some opinions, demented or otherwise, and I got 'em

Thanks, its actually helped

How old are you?! Texting's for kids! Just bloody call - don't mention the fact she hasn't been in touch - it shows you're mature enough to give her space and also shows that you've got a life to live and haven't actually been sat by your phone shouting 'WHY WON'T SHE CALL?!'.

Or it could be she's just not that into you...

You didn't, at any point, mention that you go by the name Jimmy Fingers did you?

Perhaps she caught wind of the fact that you relate to her as a 'bird'?

Saying that, I called my bird 'bird' at one point and now we're married. Count yourself lucky.

That's my old DJ name, so maybe

Can I just say people on this forum are a bunch of cunts, but in a good way

but in a good way
This part of your reply let you down.