What skillz you frontin?

I am also pretty good at swearing and lying.

don't believe you

my skills include:

1. wiping my bottom properly (right handed, left handed - working on no handed) (with paper: close to completing)
   
2. noseplant down the stairs to answer the phone when my trousers are still round my ankles
   
3. not going over the handlebars while breaking wind along the Old Kent Road
   
4. going successfully over the handlebars while applying the appropriate amount of front brake suddenly and decisively, e.g. to avoid ploughing into a pedestrian
   
5. preparing a syringe with minimal wasteage of barbiturate when Countdown's starting.
   
   

I can't give you more +rep, so please anyone do

don't believe you

He's not. On the Hippy Scale of Cunting Swearing(tm) he only rates a 3.

I can't rate his lying ability.. other than the one time he promised to use lube.

I can juggle whilst riding a unicycle . . . is that classed as a 'trick'?

I can juggle whilst riding a unicycle . . . is that classed as a 'trick'?

More of a 'life skill'.

'Circus 4 Life' Blud!

p.s. other skillz include laughing my ass off at this thread! :D

don't believe you

Clever, very clever. :)

He's not. On the Hippy Scale of Cunting Swearing(tm) he only rates a 3.

Just you watch me:

"Damn you, you silly bloody thing"

How did I do ? :(

I can't rate his lying ability.. other than the one time he promised to use lube.

:o

That was you ? He called himself 'The Colonel' in the Gumtree ad, I didn't realise it was you.

I think you'll find it was The Colon Anal, butt yes that was me. Thank the lord above for triple-ply toilet paper..

I think you'll find it was The Colon Anal, butt yes that was me.

It was hard to tell in the gimp mask, still it all ended well.

Happy finish?

Happy finish?

Its hard to say, but I thought I saw a smile through the gimp mask as I handed him the £12.

Its hard to say, but I thought I saw a smile through the gimp mask as I handed him the £12.

That's inflation (fnaarr) for you. Only 10 Aus dollar for me.
That's about 15p I'm told...

That's inflation (fnaarr) for you. Only 10 Aus dollar for me.
That's about 15p I'm told...

He did 'extras' for the £12, including 'the pig' and he let me draw a picture of the current pope on his back.

last I looked, he still had it

You said it would be the old, nice Polish one! Not that feckin' Nazi one! Shit! He does lie!

He did 'extras' for the £12, including 'the pig' and he let me draw a picture of the current pope on his back.

Oh boy. German Popes. Now you're talking. Just give me 10 minutes.
Actually, make it five

By the way, Deadly Arse Bucket. I think you've had a comprehensive answer to your original - albeit badly phrased - question. (Well, what else would you expect from a pedant who was dropped on his head at birth?)

i rode back from the pub on thursday none-handed almost the whole way.

i was completely shitfaced.

do i get praise/points/win a prize???

No. You only get praise if you crash and have witnesses.

Oh and you clearly don't know what 'completely shitfaced' is.. since that infers not being able to get on a bike let alone ride it home no-handed. I've told you cunts a million times not to exaggerate!

stagger on legs, yet glide on bike. drunken cycling is a funny thing.

Bit of a bump, but tonight, i learnt bar spins! I can skid, bunny hop, fakie for ages (trials balance for the win), pretty much no handed trackstand, backwards circlesish, wheelies and i'm still trying more things.

Bit of a bump, but tonight, i learnt bar spins! I can skid, bunny hop, fakie for ages (trials balance for the win), pretty much no handed trackstand, backwards circlesish, wheelies and i'm still trying more things.

that was the point of this thread all along, to share a positive feeling of developing skill on a fixed wheel bike.

Its seems only a couple people 'got it' including yourself.

Funny thing with me, I could no-hand track stand as soon as I jumped on for the first time, learnt backwards circles very quickly.

But I have been killing myself trying to fakie and getting my front wheel off the ground to do the smallest wheelie, possibly pivot or back-hop! just seems so impossible!

Fakie - learn on a fakie friendly bike and you will be able to apply it to a fixed no problem. I personally used my 3 inch framed trials bike without a chain down a hill to get it, and managed 70ish metres, i can fakie fairly far fixed, probably 30m.

Wheelie, it's a big thing for trials, bar and stem choice, makes SOSOSOSOSOSO much difference as i'm sure you know... What setup do you have?

Backhop? Like getting onto the backwheel and hopping backwards? That's fairly friggin hard on a rear brakeless bike.