I confess...

I have never owned a bicycle with a freewheel. I want one.

Actually I'm talking shit, I have a Dutch bike but that's rubbish, I mean a fast bike.

I heard a rumour that you can actually put freewheels on your fixie bike. Its a bit experimental right now I think, but some people are trying it. To think you can actually keep moving without pedalling! We should get on this while its still fresh.

My confession: I'm only posting this to get out of the nursery

..that I binge drink

Dear Tynan this is my first post in this thread.

I'm currently putting an easier gear on my track bike so that I can ride it on the road.

I heard a rumour that you can actually put freewheels on your fixie bike. Its a bit experimental right now I think, but some people are trying it. To think you can actually keep moving without pedalling! We should get on this while its still fresh.

Why would I put a freewheel on my track bike?

so you can crash it, get injured and don't have to go to work.

Today I forgot my pants. Thank god for my clothes drawer at work.

Today I forgot my pants. Thank god for my clothes drawer at work.

That's happened to me on many occasions. Especially when I started in a new office and was riding in from afar in cycling shorts. I'm better prepared now (and have mudguards).

In my first week here however i did not, and arriving with a very wet arse discovered there was someone in the blokes changing room. The women's was empty so I just used that. They're just little one-person at a time cubicles with a shower and a bench in them so what difference does it make right?

I hung up my wet stuff (including pants) to dry as normal only to have some annoying girl come out an hour later going "EWWW! WHO LEFT THEIR WET PANTS IN THE LADIES CHANGING ROOMS!" right across the office as if I was some pervy, pissy pant-planting psycho. Thanks for that. Personally I think it made her look stupid for making a big fat fuss about nothing. She really did try and make me look like a nutter though.

Other occasions I have forgotten pants and been faced with the choice of spending a day of meetings wearing either of the following under the rather slim-fitting (i.e. too tight) suit trousers:

a - swimming trunks (very tight when dry and surpringly slippery)
b - padded cyling shorts (feels and looks like you're wearing a nappy)
c - nothing (extremely visible and potentially dangerous)

It's a minefield I tell you. I usually go for the speedos in that situation. It's hysterically uncomfortable but at least safe. I have since taken to keeping a set emergency pants and socks stashed in the dark recesses of my bag at all times.

Traumatic memories.

I hung up my wet stuff (including pants) to dry as normal only to have some annoying girl come out an hour later going "EWWW! WHO LEFT THEIR WET PANTS IN THE LADIES CHANGING ROOMS!" right across the office as if I was some pervy, pissy pant-planting psycho.

Lolz. Spare pant drawer FTW! Although I budget buying at least 2 new panic shirts per year from the Next near my office due to forgetfulness.

Gwenyth Paltrow's head.

haha nice! I love that movie

Today I forgot my pants. Thank god for my clothes drawer at work.

Is that like the communal PE kit box at school?

I confess I got to work once last year to find a huge queue for the mens showers. I was in a rush and there was no one in the ladies as usual and so I went in there.

Half way through a girl came in, I nervously cowered in the shower praying she didn't come in, debating whether I should just own up and make myself known, she didn't, she went for a poo instead.

There are some things in life one shouldn't hear, that was one of them, I am still traumatised but thank god I didn't get caught.

I confess ... the new girl at work has caught my eye and she knows it. To my desk is a long awkward walk to deliver my tea ... for both of us.

Practice on loose gravel, wet smooth tarmac, grass and stuff like that to get the technique, then all you need to do is do it with a bit more force on dry ground.

That's some good advice, right there.

Is that like the communal PE kit box at school?

We didn't have one of those, if you forgot your kit you did it in your pants and vest. I thought Shane Butler was really forgetful until I realised he was just piss poor and didn't have a kit, he ate a dog poo for a bet once too, poor kid.

On the plus side his living room had superman wallpaper.

I confess I got to work once last year to find a huge queue for the mens showers. I was in a rush and there was no one in the ladies as usual and so I went in there.

Half way through a girl came in, I nervously cowered in the shower praying she didn't come in, debating whether I should just own up and make myself known, she didn't, she went for a poo instead.

There are some things in life one shouldn't hear, that was one of them, I am still traumatised but thank god I didn't get caught.

I know how you feel.
Because there's so few women at our factory, and so many blokes, they converted one of the women's toilets into a gents.
They did this by ingeniously putting a 'mens' sign over the 'womens' sign.
Anyhoo, I was in there, emptying my bottom, when I heard the click clack of heels on tiles.
Shit.
A woman had walked in.
She went in the cubicle next to me.
I could hear her pulling up her skirt, sliding down her tights and panties...
Then she took the most violent, explosive crap I've ever heard.
It sounded like a flock of pigeons taking off while being chased by a moped with a knackered exhaust.
I wiped and fled.
But got a look at her shoes before she left.
(it's the sort of thing I do, don't ask me why.)
When I saw those shoes again, during a meeting, I lol'ed.

you fucker I've just splurted 7up all over my screen and some drawings laffin' out loud

Nowt like a good poo story

I know how you feel.
Because there's so few women at our factory, and so many blokes, they converted one of the women's toilets into a gents.
They did this by ingeniously putting a 'mens' sign over the 'womens' sign.
Anyhoo, I was in there, emptying my bottom, when I heard the click clack of heels on tiles.
Shit.
A woman had walked in.
She went in the cubicle next to me.
I could hear her pulling up her skirt, sliding down her tights and panties...
Then she took the most violent, explosive crap I've ever heard.
It sounded like a flock of pigeons taking off while being chased by a moped with a knackered exhaust.
I wiped and fled.
But got a look at her shoes before she left.
(it's the sort of thing I do, don't ask me why.)
When I saw those shoes again, during a meeting, I lol'ed.

haha christ!

I went to the pool this morning. I put my togs on at home... cycled to the pool, swam, showered and then said 'bollox'. It was either wet togs or nothing until I got to work. My whole filing cabinet at work is full of socks, pants, jeans, shirts, bras, jumpers, deoderant the works. I've got sufficient clothes for at least a few days. The filing - well that just goes on the floor.

When I lived in the wasteland that is Cambridge I cycled the 13 miles to work one morning with a fearsome tailwind and thought half way there I hope that drops before I go home tonight.

Got to work, had a shower, dried myself, started dressing and was all but done when I reached into my bag for my trousers. Oh, where are they then. Shit, no trousers. A couple of minutes later I was back on my bike battling into the headwind for 13 miles.

That's some good advice, right there.

Hah!

That's some good advice, right there.

That is really funny .... oh wait it ain't.

when i rode fixed for the 1st time i didn't like it.

Ditto. But I also didn't like beer the first time, and I've grown partial to that too.

I know how you feel....

Funny fucker.

Must spread rep.