I confess...

I bite my toenails

I found a huge spider in my bag this morning as i was getting ready to leave. Pulled everything out then repacked. Got to work and as I'm unpacking the same huge spider creeps out having hidden in my workshirt.

So I take off my cycling gear shove it back in the bag, and chuck the spider back in. There there little fella, you can come back home with me - I won't let the cleaners at work get you.

I currently have a giant spider nestling in my cycling gear in my bag under the desk

I found a huge spider in my bag this morning as i was getting ready to leave. Pulled everything out then repacked. Got to work and as I'm unpacking the same huge spider creeps out having hidden in my workshirt.

So I take off my cycling gear shove it back in the bag, and chuck the spider back in. There there little fella, you can come back home with me - I won't let the cleaners at work get you.

I currently have a giant spider nestling in my cycling gear in my bag under the desk

Awww nice story

New on the forum, so having to catch up with the lingo...

The nodders must have worshipped you.

Who are the nodders?

I'm guessing it would intersect with lycra-clad squares and MAMILs on a venn diagram. But why "nodders"?

Lycra-clad squares are worshipped by all the MAMILs on this forum so it's not that.

It refers to the inexperienced cyclist who, having better things to do with their weekends than do 100 laps around Richmond Park from 6am, lacks the core strength to remain stable on their bikes and does a little nodding action in time with the pedal stroke. Although it's expanded on this forum and also seems to refer to anybody wearing high-viz and helmet with panniers, or who doesn't look like a messenger, MAMIL, or lycra skinsuit-wearer. Nobody on this forum is a nodder, obvs, as everybody on this forum is too cool and experienced and awesome for it.

Good summary.

Aha, I know who you are talking about.

Is there a separate category for the ones who set off with that (not so) little swerve to the side which puts them in the path of the car or other cyclist who was behind their shoulder?

Depends on whether they take you out or not. If they take you out, they're a "bad cyclist". This holds true even if you were riding too close or half-wheeling them to begin with.

When I say "take you out" I mean them knocking you off your bike. Not, like, taking you out on a date.

You've not encountered my dating technique then.

1. Swerve.
   
2. Hugh Grant-style apologising.
   
3. Dinner and a movie.
   

You've not encountered my dating technique then.

1. Swerve.
   
2. Dinner and a movie.
   
3. Hugh Grant-style apologising.
   
   

ftfy

I found a huge spider in my bag this morning as i was getting ready to leave. Pulled everything out then repacked. Got to work and as I'm unpacking the same huge spider creeps out having hidden in my workshirt.

So I take off my cycling gear shove it back in the bag, and chuck the spider back in. There there little fella, you can come back home with me - I won't let the cleaners at work get you.

I currently have a giant spider nestling in my cycling gear in my bag under the desk

Yay! Repped. Spiders are the BEST.

I have a terrible hangover at work and plan on spending most of my day making pointless comments on a bike related website. And searching for a track frame (56/57cm anyone?)

When I'm taking a shower I throw the shampoo and shower gel around like I'm making cocktails.

I'm actually in exactly the same situation and also looking for a track frame (55/56)...

I have a terrible hangover at work and plan on spending most of my day making pointless comments on a bike related website. And searching for a track frame (56/57cm anyone?)

Is there a separate category for the ones who set off with that (not so) little swerve to the side which puts them in the path of the car or other cyclist who was behind their shoulder?

to be fair, some groggy mornings this is me, but also to be fair, WHY ARE YOU UP MY ARSE?

I get first dibs

I'm actually in exactly the same situation and also looking for a track frame (55/56)...

Whenever I hear about mis-sold PPI, or get 'an urgent message about my PPI' I titter childishly to myself.

I can't help but think of the eye of my pee pee. Or in other words, cock.

It's like when I ask is someone has done something and they answer, 'must have done'.

They generally drop the 'h' and the 'v' from 'have' making 'must a done'

And this makes me think of big hairy prehistoric elephants.

And I giggle.

my girlfriend asked me 'if you had £500 spare what would you spend it on'. I replied without a moments hesitation that I'd but something for my bike or a new frame. She said she'd have bought us tickets to go on holiday together. I felt guilty.

This is known as a Girlfriend Trick Question. There are two answers to these, one is the real answer (which you must never give) and the other is the girlfriend answer which is utterly shameless lying bollocks.

For eg: "If you had the day off work what would you do with it?"

REAL answer: go out and ride my bike all day long / play Call of Duty for seven hours straight with no wee breaks
Girlfriend answer: oh, I'd spend it at home creating a lovely meal for you, my darling, and spreading fresh rose petals on the bed and lighting the candles for you to have a candlelit bath while listening to Justin Bieber (or whatever it is women listen to these days, I don't fucking know (maybe leave this last bit out of the actual answer though))

^ rep

Dear father, forgive me for I have sinned,

I confess to debating whether or not to sell my Cinelli Vigorelli build and instead build up a more relaxed single speed build including wooden mudguards, brooks saddle, moustache bars and a saddle bag. (Maybe even include a front rack...)

Oh dear god.

while listening to Justin Bieber (or whatever it is women listen to these days

is that a confession?

Dear father, forgive me for I have sinned,

I confess to debating whether or not to sell my Cinelli Vigorelli build and instead build up a more relaxed single speed build including wooden mudguards, brooks saddle, moustache bars and a saddle bag. (Maybe even include a front rack...)

Oh dear god.

Of that's vigorelli is around 56cm then I think you should sell it for £200 to me and buy an SS create, much less to worry about if it gets nicked too!