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Oh any of the teen slasher movies and the related pointless "spoofs"
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The film I sat through most of over Christmas was a "British" film about - wait for it - some guy at University in the 80s who goes on University Challenge. I'm riffing here but due to that plot detail I'm guessing it might have been called "Starter for Ten", though "Lose Five Points" would have been more apt. I had a cold and my parents for some reason had zoned out in front of it so I watched it go by. I was staggered at how pointless and charmless it was.
For some reason part of me cares deeply about films, or even Cinema - probably cos I managed to watch stuff when I was younger that blew me away. There's only one country that consistently makes worse films than the US and it's us, which is difficult for me to admit cos I hate Hollywood and the truly worthwhile 'Independents' are few and far between. Surely we have scriptwriters producing stuff worth throwing good money at? The film I saw was yet another example of a British film that had no cinematic value whatsoever, no characters that had any charisma or authenticity, no situations that had any dramatic value and dialogue that had no resonance. Why was it made? For a boxing day TV lemsip zone-out? High aspirations.
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Slumdog Millionaire.. another winnit from the arse of some smug cunt, dressed up to be the golden egg. its only saving grace is the cinematography. if it wasn't so hyped it wouldn't be such a let down
Glad i'm not alone on that one...
Everyone's raving about it... Golden Globes have just spunked all over it.
Errrr... WHAT!
average at best... nice cinematography...
BUT, can somebody Puh-Leease tell Boyle to stop "Dutching" all over the shop.
Drove me up the wall !
Every frickin' 5 minutes... camera angle tilted.... ArrrrrrrrggghhhhhH ! -
@ Jim Jams, the film was 'starter for ten'. i watched it too but only because i enjoyed the idiosyncratic nerdiness of it all. that blonde girl had a grill (teeth). i thought it was quite charming, but ultimately a bit... meh.
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"coronary-inducing livid"
The Daily Mail
:)
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Did anyone catch "Shadow Man" last night on Five?
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THE SEAGAL
Hark to the whimper of the Seagal;
He weeps because he's not an ea-gal.
Suppose you were, you silly Seagal.
Could you explain it to your sheagal?(With apologies to Ogden Nash.)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mzk7XR8ew4
This beats everything :D
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^ agree thats bad but this has to be right there beside it... I mean seriously... why would you spend money making this? seriously vile.
**WARNING KIDS- YUKKY NASTY BITS **
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Love it or hate it, but this is almost absolute shite and pretty good stuff at the same time ...
http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?&next_url=/watch%3Fv%3DDUOnwAxlo28
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Has anyone seen Possession?
I once made the mistake of asking a film geek in a video shop for "the scariest film they had". He offered me several films (including a Japanese one called Spirals, which is apparently based on the same novel as Ring) but I eventually chose Possession.
This should give you a flavour of it:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3rMRGC_NEcg
As you can see, it's got Sam Neill in it and lots of groaning. Avoid.
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Dat's gotta hoit!!
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you got to be joking!!!
Nah, it's diabolical.
Compare it to Kill Bill - both have exaggerated characters that are extremely violent, and in fact lots of extreme violence throughout, often happening to people that don't deserve it. But Kill Bill is done with a light touch and you really like the characters; they're believable and interesting in the context. Also (and it's a word I fucking hate) the female characters in Kill Bill are "empowered" (even if they're exploited by Bill) whereas the happy prostitutes and table dancers in Sin City will murder clients that don't pay them, but they're basically happy to be whores. Well, I may be a fat lazy chauvinist, but I know the smell of misogynistic bullshit when Robert Rodriquez has shat in my sandwiches.
Oh, and think about some of the horrific bits in Kill Bill. When I watched it, some Sloane Rangers in the cinema had actually started crying by the time the Bride killed a guy by smashing his head in the door [which was ace, because they had talked loudly up to the beginning of the film and had obviously intended to continue throughout]. But the horror is kind of cartoony and it's entertaining. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, Tarantino gets away with it, because he's actually a good director. But check out the paedophilia in Sin City, the bit where the hobbit has his limbs removed, or any of the other rank shit. It's just fucking disgusting, and the film-noir voice over makes it embarrassing to watch, rather than making it clever or ironic in any way.
There was a lot of talk about how it captured the "spirit" of the original graphic novel. I thought that was pretty accurate. As well as looking like a comic, it captured the meanness and the self-importance. Frank Miller has made a few reasonably decent comics (eg Dark Knight Returns), but mostly they've been awful and shown him to be a bit of a twat. I mean, the guy has been threatening to write Batman vs Al Qaeda for years now. WAC.
Sorry, been meaning to get all that off my chest for a while.
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About
Bad Films
Posted by
@StandardPractice
Why don't you just come out and tell us you love Tom Cruise and be done with your input on the film thread