Help me choose

I got 5 words in and thought "fuck this"

Did you? :)

Oh FFS

You lot have a go at the poor guy for not pressing return every once in a while
yet the overall grasp of the English language displayed here (Edscoble, understandably excepted) is absolutely pi55 poor.

Look to your own laurels you lot.

By the way, for what it's worth, I think the Kona Paddywagon is a good but, but you'll find the tyres are puncture magnets, the saddle an armchair and the stem isn't reversible without having the word "Kona" upside down on it.
Oh, and it comes with a silly chainguard that when removed reveals the chainring on the inside of the spider - it looks a bit strange.

I've sorted all of the above (although I'm simply ignoring the stem and chainring issues) and love riding it, in fact I'm just about to have my ring expanded.

Harden the fuck up and wait for a 2009 Bianchi Pista, it's hardcore and makes you hard.

Oh FFS

You lot have a go at the poor guy for not pressing return every once in a while

Easier to criticise on presentation than content? There's a gem of a cliché (you'd hope) in there that hasn't been picked up on

Oh, and it wont get stolen cos I got an m16, and all our local chavs know it.

Right.

sidney writes like a dream as far as I'm concerned. Did you get sorted out with a bike, Sidney? ;)

I'm just about to have my ring expanded.

Ouch...

Can't believe you haven't heard that one before.

Too many possibilities for cheap innuendo to mention.

I'm off to polish my rims and contemplate how many inches I'm riding.