Revenge is sweet

My sympathies go to you Oblong. I think we all would welcome a Herioc Demon Revenge Cyclist.....and I have on occasion caught up with a negligent driver and expressed my dissatisfaction with his driving skills in less than polite terms. Luckily I've never been so assaulted to have to involve the Police....and its seems I would be wasting my time anyway. My advice to you would be to let it go now, but to take extra care at that round-a-bout etc. The bastards can come at you from anywhere.

As for buses. Simply I don't give them space on the road to pass.

yea, i wanna know about the banana in the tail pipe as well.

Other options:
super glue in keyhole.
Just let the air out the tyres - that way it's not even damage.
I also ride a motorbike and cars love to pull out on motorbikes as much as pushbikes. I did hear of one bloke who used to keep a big syringe of brake fluid (i think that's what it was) in easy reach then ride past while casually spraying it down the side of the car. Seemingly brake fluid disolves almost anything - including car paint.

I also had a mate get cut up by a bus, he pulled up next to it, banged on the door and when it opened asked what the hell the driver was doing. nly to be told "trying to kill you".
Nice.

I really want to hear a story of someone who has done "the right thing" and got results.

I have heard so many of these stories, and so many people saying "go the legal route" but I am yet to hear anyone has had the police actually do anything....

Has anyone seen the film "the Outlaws"

How about we find our very own post traumatic stress disorder soldier cyclist back from iraq/afghanistan and go vigilante on all bad drivers!

If the police are not interested - you can always bring a private prosecution.

ro-LAND's story is unbelievable ! I cannot understand what more you could want to pursue a case, a hit and run, 1.30am New Years day (alcohol a likely factor) a witness who is a police woman, the number plate of the car.

What more do they need ?

Like I say, you should have brought a private prosecution if the police were uninterested.

fuck the police. i got run over infront of them in teh summer and they're not even willing to be independant witnesses in my insurance case agaist the silly cow that ran me over.

prototype fuck the police. i got run over infront of them in teh summer and they're not even willing to be independant witnesses in my insurance case agaist the silly cow that ran me over.

that's unbelievable!

Banana up the tailpipe does work but not immediately, takes a few minutes. If there's nowhere for the exhaust gases to go they'll either choke the engine causing it to stall and die (until the banana is removed and engine started again) or if it's not a firm fit the build up of exhaust gases will fire the 'nana out of the pipe.

I believe addresses can be obtained from the DVLA with the reg and model of the vehicle. Not sure how it works but think you have to approach them as a prospective buyer (just give them false ID info) so it's a security check.

HTH

i just want to say that i did not come off the bike and i was not hurt in any way yesterday. i am saying this because people have posted accounts above of incidents way more serious, where people have actually been hurt and the incredibly indifferent response of the authorities has truely added insult to injury.

too many lazy journalists writing articles about dangerous cyclists and too few forwarding qualified arguments for strengthening laws against bad driving. as cyclists we may have a responsibly to use the roads safely (if only to avoid fueling the crass arguments against us that distract from the real issues at hand) but legal recourse should not have to be preceded by serious injury in an RTA or an assault after expressing ourselves to the offending driver (kipsy). you may be lucky enough not be hurt on the occasion you come across that dangerous driver but it is surely only a matter of time before some one is. for most people a car is probably the most dangerous machine they will ever be responsible for. how many 'near misses' should we (as a society) tolerate a driver being involved with before we take away their rights to drive?

a while back i was delivering 'bikeability' in newham when a driver deliberately risked injuring trainees because he was irritated at having to wait for them. there was no collision, no body got hurt, but that does not change the fact that he demonstrated a willful disregard for other road users and should not be behind the steering wheel of a car. if (as described by others above) the police are not prepared to do anything on the occasions when a car has hit somebody and someone has been injured and there are witnesses (who are even in the police force) where does that put cyclists in the 'food chain'? i think people get into more trouble when they mistreat animals, which means we are basically unprotected by the law.

at the risk of sounding like a vigilante, if drivers don't perceive a risk to themselves from us as cyclists they don't perceive any risk at all-legal or otherwise. i suspect that if it were not for the expensive paintwork on their cars, even more cyclists would be injured and killed. in the absence of a change in the law and policing does this mean that a motorist has to die at the hands of a cyclist for anything to change!

my mate carries a hammer in his bag, if a bus or taxi cuts him up he'll smash one of the guys lights or wing mirrors

There was an interesting thread on here another time about the tragic case of an off duty policeman who was killed whilst doing a Time Trial - it ended up with some of the directors of the company who's vehicle it was serving time. I can't rememebr the exact details, but something that the poster said struck a chord - it all depends on who you kill...'

billa my mate carries a hammer in his bag, if a bus or taxi cuts him up he'll smash one of the guys lights or wing mirrors

That's silly.

Hammer = tool/weapon that you have to explain if you're stopped and searched, and also - should an altercation arise - a sign of premeditation.

D-Lock = something every cyclist has, and if you were to go to court, you could use the 'I just lost it and hit his car with the first thing that I got my hands on' approach.

billa my mate carries a hammer in his bag, if a bus or taxi cuts him up he'll smash one of the guys lights or wing mirrors

Unfortunately that's the kind of thing that can get you a custodial sentence, threatening behavior + concealed weapon + premeditation = case closed. :(

[EDIT] edited to include turpe's 'premeditation'. (good point)

I use a much more basic technique to exact revenge, the vengeance is for my own state of mind, to meet my own innate animal need for some kind of justice, I have no interest in showing anyone the error of their ways, I doubt the driver gets anything other than pissed off.

If I feel a driver has crushed me in, cut me up or otherwise risked injury to me to save (literally) a few seconds I will attempt to catch up with the car (fairly easy in London traffic) and then ride in front of the car at walking pace for as long as it takes for him/her to start sounding their horn.

I will make it almost impossible for the car to pass when I can, this is just about the worst thing you can do to a driver in a hurry, after all his time is so important that he is willing to risk the life of someone's son or daughter to save a few seconds (this is no exaggeration).

What can he do (besides kill you! choose your victims carefully) - unlike some of the other approaches - riding a slowly on a bicycle for a few hundred yards is not going to be of interest to the nation's law enforcement folk.

Pathetic, I know, but it feels good.

tynan Pathetic, I know, but it feels good.

Not at all, you're exacting revenge in a way that isn't stooping to violence, isn't illegal and completely negates any benefit for the driver of having slighted you in the first place.

After all, drivers mostly drive like morons because they are in a hurry/too important to wait for some plebian on a bicycle to get out of the way, and if you counter this by making them wait even longer than they would have had to if they had just been more courteous in the beginning, that's the ultimate payback - their idiocy and aggressiveness causes them more delay, not less.

I'm not sure that doing the "right" thing works as you only ever have TFL's word for it when they say action has been taken. While I'm normally fairly opposed to vigilantism, I think that the odds need evening. If, as a result of bad driving , there is a 1/200 chance of a fatality then a cyclist should be able to pull out a revolver with one bullet in a 200 bullet chamber and pull the trigger.

On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know where to get gloves with metal plates over the knuckles?

tom. On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know where to get gloves with metal plates over the knuckles?

tom; gloves with metal plates has been my girlfriends request for sometime and i think it's for the same (paintwork) reasons.

chainmail gloves might do the same thing:
http://www.simplyworkwear.co.uk/acatalog/Online_Store_Specialist_Gloves_64.html

turpe; riding slowly to annoy the motorist ala critical mass is a very good form of revenge but as my previously detailed experience, delivering bikeability to 12 year olds wearing hiviz and helmets shows, some motorists will not only drive at you (a competent adult cyclist) but they will also drive at a bunch of kids.

Safe in the knowledge that most car paint jobs are worth more than my bike.. and most drivers won't get out of the car when you offer them your face..

REVENGE

The police could not give a cock about traffic incidents, unless someone is injured and there are witnesses. Even then, it's not worth the effort.

PCSO's, don't get me stared, what a fucking joke.

Don't be a pussy!

dr.oblong tom; gloves with metal plates has been my girlfriends request for sometime and i think it's for the same (paintwork) reasons.

Actually, I was more thinking for wing mirror/window/nose reasons

If I was only interested in the paint, I'd do what one of the guys who works for Evans does: he runs studs (or maybe even spikes) on the outside bit of his MTB shoes. Just the outside. Supposedly you can do a lot of damage that way

Personally, I'm thinking about carrying those plumbers smoke pellets and - where possible - throwing them into cars that endanger my life. Makes them impossible to drive and probably ruins to the upholstery. Perfect!

tynan
If I feel a driver has crushed me in, cut me up or otherwise risked injury to me to save (literally) a few seconds I will attempt to catch up with the car (fairly easy in London traffic) and then ride in front of the car at walking pace.

And especially bendy buses.

I thought I was the only petty-minded child on the roads. I'm not quite sure whether to feel disappointed or glad of the company. The latter I think.

Violence solves nothing. But revenge makes a mighty fine cold snack.

lucky [quote]prototype fuck the police. i got run over infront of them in teh summer and they're not even willing to be independant witnesses in my insurance case agaist the silly cow that ran me over.

that's unbelievable![/quote]

Get the court to issue a witness summons for the Police officers involved.

All you have to do is toodle (?) along to the magistrates court in who's area the incident occured and make an application for a witness summons.
A clear and concise explanation of the events and reason for the application, including any correspondance form Mssrs Plod and Plod should do the trick.

Post the summons to the relevant police station (recorded delivery) and wait.

If there is no show on the day then you will be issued with a witness warrent which you take to the relevant police station and serve on the officer.

Of course your best chance of service is to ambush the officer.

No, I don't mean leap out of a bush and ram the paperwork up his/her arse.

Make an appointment to see them concerning the accident.
Once they in front of you hand them the warrent (folded) and say something along the lines of "I wonder if you could help me with this". Once plod has taken it off you explain what it is and be prepared for an adverse reaction.

Then if he doesn't show for the hearing the court can issue an arrest warrent and the fun really starts as it will ORDER their arrest!

Toodle pip.

the DMV give you the info if you have the plate numbers and vihical type.

a guy hit me on my skate bord a while ago, got his tags, found his house and tied a maquin with a skate bord under his car.

I "did the right thing" when I got nailed by a taxi driver and ended up with a trashed bike, concussion, a broken nose and seven stiches in my jaw. Got some lawyers involved and 18 months later hit the £10k compensation jackpot. Of course, the police didn't give a shit, couldn't be bothered to talk to the witnesses, couldn't find the file when I called etc. Bunch of useless wankers.

I heard that the police are the only public service organisation in the UK where people's views of them deteriorate after first hand experience. Everyone moans about the NHS, but when they use it they find its not so bad. Police are the oppisite.

markrjohnson [quote]lucky [quote]prototype fuck the police. i got run over infront of them in teh summer and they're not even willing to be independant witnesses in my insurance case agaist the silly cow that ran me over.

that's unbelievable![/quote]

Get the court to issue a witness summons for the Police officers involved.

All you have to do is toodle (?) along to the magistrates court in who's area the incident occured and make an application for a witness summons.
A clear and concise explanation of the events and reason for the application, including any correspondance form Mssrs Plod and Plod should do the trick.

Post the summons to the relevant police station (recorded delivery) and wait.

If there is no show on the day then you will be issued with a witness warrent which you take to the relevant police station and serve on the officer.

Of course your best chance of service is to ambush the officer.

No, I don't mean leap out of a bush and ram the paperwork up his/her arse.

Make an appointment to see them concerning the accident.
Once they in front of you hand them the warrent (folded) and say something along the lines of "I wonder if you could help me with this". Once plod has taken it off you explain what it is and be prepared for an adverse reaction.

Then if he doesn't show for the hearing the court can issue an arrest warrent and the fun really starts as it will ORDER their arrest!

Toodle pip.[/quote]

Good info.

Momentum I "did the right thing" when I got nailed by a taxi driver and ended up with a trashed bike, concussion, a broken nose and seven stiches in my jaw. Got some lawyers involved and 18 months later hit the £10k compensation jackpot. Of course, the police didn't give a shit, couldn't be bothered to talk to the witnesses, couldn't find the file when I called etc. Bunch of useless wankers.

I heard that the police are the only public service organisation in the UK where people's views of them deteriorate after first hand experience. Everyone moans about the NHS, but when they use it they find its not so bad. Police are the oppisite.

Well done Momentum that must have taken some serious effort.