Turbo Trainer Advice

Friday night chez bothwell == party time

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^^ So you're not pathetically weak after all?

I wouldn't go quite that far. All we can agree on for the moment is that I'm not as pathetically weak as it may have initially appeared.

Have you considered turbo training?

Keep things as they were. That 8 minute test session looked fecking brutally effective.

No! I want PROPER NUMBERS and I will not rest until I get them!

Today's session informs me that I have an FTP of 167. This is still pretty feeble but crucially it is not as feeble as the last attempt. If this new number is correct then that gives me an FTP/kg of 2.28, which according to this chart means that I can officially declare myself a CAT 5 CHALENGAR. Watch out, Marianne Vos, I am coming for you.

Obviously I don't trust anything that these sessions are telling me anymore so I'm not really sure what I've achieved here.

I hate that chart ^

Shattering all my hopes of racing glory :-(

That chart only matters if you're road racing. Anything on the flat isn't so reliant on power/weight, ie. track, time trialling. There it's more about tactics and frontal area and even in road racing, knowing when to use what you have is more important than being the dirty sandbagger..

Coggans aero version..

I consider this to still be a bit of a work in progress, but it still might be of interest to some: "

Now I've cleared that up, I'm off to get a pro contract..

Anything on the flat isn't so reliant on power/weight

I'm never leaving Norfolk again!

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I've found 8 minute turbo tests, a Box Hill climb and a 3 minute aerobic test (per Wattbike) gave me virtually same estimated FTP as I actually subsequently hit in a 60min cat 4 race.

YMMV

edit as hippy says, on the flat w/kg means diddly and short fatty fat fats with little legs who can get in a tuck can hurt people's feelings. :)

Coggans aero version..

I consider this to still be a bit of a work in progress, but it still might be of interest to some: "

I'm not even on that chart, so you can cram it up your arse. Fuck your shitty chart and its unattainable numbers!

Besides, I don't do track or testing, so road "racing" at feeble wattage is all I have. Stop trying to take it away from me or I'll get my mum to beat up your dad and tehn you'll be sorry.

Are you sure? What's your CdA?

You'd have to be riding a fucking Dutch shopping bike with a bat cape on to fail to get onto that chart.

Wtf is a CdA?

Actually, wtf is the W/m2 that's in the chart that I totally ignored that looks as though it might be important?

Does any other sport have this many acronyms?

ffs!

Is it watts / metres squared? How would I even know my metres squared?!

Is it a weight/height thing?

How many syllables?

Wtf is a CdA?

Actually, wtf is the W/m2 that's in the chart that I totally ignored that looks as though it might be important?

Insert jokes about huge frontal area here.

It's dirty aero/TT talk

None of this makes any sense whatsoever and I regret joining the roadie douchebag club. I would like to cancel my membership and obtain a refund pls.

Basically when a 6 foot cyclist weighing 80kg and a 5 ft cyclist weight 80kg with same FTP go head to head, shorty will win in a drag race due to CDa and W/m2 of frontal area.

You punch a smaller hole through the air like Cav vs Greipel who is massively moar powerful but air resistance makes it useless when Cav has his nose hovering a couple of inches over his front tyre.

So because I'm shorter than hippy, I'm loads better than him, in spite of all that bollocks he posted in the weight loss thread about how being bigger is better?

hippy pwnd!