Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

I love Foes DH frames but that green thing is bizarre. I can't imagine what it'd be useful for and it looks terrible to boot.

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What's with the saddle? Looks like it might grate your important bits off!

how exactly do you lock up a disc wheel?

pitlock?

Those Messiah-bikes have the widest chainrings in town... 1 1/8" ...

well spotted

Am I a wrong 'un for actually quite liking this... It's pimpy.. All gold an' that. Like a pimp's gold chalice and stuff. Would look good with ermine cycling shorts.

But then I liked Raleigh Bombers when I was a kid, maybe that's what it is.

Ummm...
That bike is green, not gold.

YouTube - Monster Bike

Shoukld be in the Epic Fail thread

it's a working prototype, hardly a fail, but defintely an anti.

Does anyone else feel that Cinelli are really dirtying their heritage with all these poorly executed 'collabos'?
What the fuck is going on with that bike? It looks like something you'd see on FGG when daddy had just thrown money at someone to build his kid a 'gnarly fixxxie'.

Bigger pics at Prolly

Bottom right; has he lost the use of the muscles in his neck?

Does anyone else feel that Cinelli are really dirtying their heritage with all these poorly executed 'collabos'?

Or are they just try to keep it contemporary? What did they do 30 years ago, were they seen as contemporary then? if so they are just doing the same.

Fair enough Kerley! That's a valid point I guess. In my eyes, they're not adding much to the brand, but that's just me! The MASH frame was a good one, I dunno what these are about though? They arn't specced right for a modern tricks bike, and don't really look very nice if it's only a aesthetic thing...

Another fucking huge rant - FUCK Urban Outfitters. I don't like these fucking fixie t-shirts they've got going on...
Linked to avoid massive post and me frothing at the mouth
Exhibit a) http://www.urbanoutfitters.co.uk/content/ebiz/urbanoutfitters/invt/5214417503735/5214417503735_Ivory_m1.jpg

Exhibit b) http://www.urbanoutfitters.co.uk/content/ebiz/urbanoutfitters/invt/5214417503322/5214417503322_Blue_m3.jpg

Exhibit c) http://www.urbanoutfitters.co.uk/content/ebiz/urbanoutfitters/invt/5214417507755/5214417507755_Kelly_m3.jpg

I really fucking hate Urban Outfitters. First with the band t-shirts (especially the Springsteen one, mother fuckers) and now this? They're making life exceptionally easy for band wagon jumpers.

I know I'm being a precious little shit about a scene I am myself fairly new too, but I'm a snotty bastard most of the time anyway so I'm just pouring my cynical bile in new and excitingly 'urban' directions.

Agree, I don't think they are adding much to it either. But also leads me to think they are not what they were 30 years ago (although I don't know as I am no Cinelli hostorian).
Isn't the only nice bike they make a model that is about 30 years old!

I know I'm being a precious little shit about a scene I am myself fairly new too, but I'm a snotty bastard most of the time anyway so I'm just pouring my cynical bile in new and excitingly 'urban' directions.

Well said, sir. Tell me, how many pints are required to keep you spitting and ranting like this little display here for say, a couple of hours? I have some mates that are headed down a sordid path and need a head shake (mostly to sort out their asymmetrical haircuts), or rather, just a kick in the pants. Do you kick people in the pants as well?

I think Cinelli are cashing in and renting out their heritage. I actually looked through their 2009 catalogue and it's full of sublime bikes and frames and components, until you reach 'fixie corner' and they're just rolling the same old urban warrior shite as everyone else.

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that thing is sick as, not anti. Maybe the bars are a bit too extreme but its sick mon

Looks like that Cinelli x Boski can only be bought as a complete bike!

That's shite coz I really like the frame (no idea why it's rear drilled tho) but hate the build.

http://www.milanofixed.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/weird.jpg

As I may have said before, posting SoftRides in anti porn is shooting fish in a barrel, although you have found a particularly lamentable example.

See http://www.londonfgss.com/post810079-4396.html for details. Given that the blog post from which your image originates was dated Feb.09, you will be unsurprised to discover that the bike was covered in this thread in Feb.09.

Did search threads and posts for manufacturers name.
I shall see whet you guys thought.
Thanks for shepherding.
Sorry for making you look at such a vile object again.

I dunno, I'd happily ride it.

I don't think I'd lock it in Stoke Newington though.

I don't think I'd lock it in Kensington either!