Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

After the disagreement on what constituted mtb porn a few days ago, I felt this should be a benchmark example of doing it wrong.

A repost? Let me just check the previous 500+ pages........

Lahars are porn! Very function over form but wayyyy ahead of their time.

^^ not porn based on brake lever position alone, but it also looks like a demented plucked ostrich.

Never mind the aesthetics, feel the workmanship

reminds me of another Kiwi project bike, the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britten_V1000 from the 90s, also aesthetically challenging but technically very interesting.

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now I feel like I'm looking right up an ostrich's gizzard, I can see the Parson's Nose

I think technically you're looking up the Parson's nose and can see the gizzard.

A shame to ruin an interesting concept & clever engineering by making such a woefully unattractive bike. It's like H. R. Giger's worst nightmare.

I think it's about to give birth. I dread to think what's coming out!

Well, I'm gonna struggle to pull that wishbone

A shame to ruin an interesting concept & clever engineering by making such a woefully unattractive bike. It's like H. R. Giger's worst nightmare.

I think it's about to give birth. I dread to think what's coming out!

i can imagine the cronenbergesque abortion of a fixie skidder conversion that might emerge

Maybe something like this?

http://i1074.photobucket.com/albums/w408/barenecessities1/INgSOC-concept-hybrid-bike-544x448p.jpg

where would you put the rack to make it uglier?

it's under the front wheel

where would you put the rack to make it uglier?

Did you not receive the memo from Ed?

Racks are no longer required.

it's under the front wheel

True, just rotate it 180° around the axle and it forms a porteur rack. Very clever bit of design.

probably alright to ride, but still

I'd ride that.

http://www.bikeforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=287180&d=1354813338
http://www.bikeforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=287182&d=1354813368

^^^ can't get my head around how someone would look riding that

Like they were riding a fast hybrid?

Like a more streamlined version of the World's Greatest Madone™

Like a more streamlined version of the World's Greatest Madone™

look who rides it.

where it should be

^ Is that a child's bike?

http://cdn.velospace.org/files/greenwheels1.jpg