Jokes / Joke du jour!

Oh COME ON people. That got EIGHT likes on my facebook page.

I hereby claim best first post on a page in the history of the forum.

I think the joke is on you.

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Dear Winnifred 1849 - don't listen to any negative words - your contribution to this important thread is greatly appreciated.
Now I'm going to goose - ortay some mushrooms for my supper.

I thought quite a poultry contribution to be fair.

He's probably already r-egret-ting his choice of pun topic. I say we move swift-ly on before we make a tit out ourselves....

That post really confused me. It's like the forum but when you try to click on it it's not the forum.

It's a rook-ie mistake and not grouse misconduct. N-eider here nor there really.

My wife texted earlier this evening;
saying she was in Casualty.

When I got in I watched all 50minutes of it;
and didn't see her once.

She's still not come home;
and I'm bloody starving :(

My bird texted earlier this evening

ftfy

Canary one stop with these godawful bird puns please?

As I looked in the mirror I wondered who IS this old man looking back at me?

Then I realised it wasn't a mirror at all, it was a box of fish fingers

Surely a bird would tweet?

You are right - take this nonsense to Twitter

box of fish fingers!

brill iant

Arrg ! - too slow

Made me hoot with laughter, but cannot be swanning around here all afternoon

Why are pediatricians so short tempered?

Because they have such little patients...

Birds Eye ?
fish fingers!

I thought pediatricians looked after feet?

I went to the pediatrician the other day, Tuesday, and said "these shoes are too tight!"

She said "Try it with the tongue out" I said "Dere dill doo dight!"

Paediatrician?

*I went to the podiatrician the other day*

Crows feet ?

Pigeon-toed I reckon.

I went to the podiatrician the other day

Hawkward