Remember kids... always wear a helmet. (The almighty bikeradar helmet thread)

Yet, whenever I murder a child, helmet wearing seems to be the least of peoples worries.

What? You promised you would stop doing that.

I said I'd try.

Tapering down is the easiest way to quit. Kill a few less each month and in a few years you should be at or near zero.

In what way exactly is 'ironic' talk of murdering children funny?

I've yet to hit my head, but have been asked about helmet wearing when I damaged a knees and shoulders on separate occasions.

Quick: Introduce mandatory kneepads and American Football armour laws!

Explaining jokes ruins them.

Who said I'm joking?

Sorry need to nip to the shop for my daily dose of Daily Mail.

In what way exactly is 'ironic' talk of murdering children funny?

Unflustered Parents - YouTube

remember last year on a 'sportive' I went past someone on a climb and he looked up at me and said in an annoyed voice 'wheres your helmet'. It didnt register what he said at first but when it sank in I realised I had just cycled past a cunt.

CSB: When I slipped on a wet manhole cover (strategically placed near the kerb, totally worn) and ended up with one chipped tooth/4 stitches there was no helmet lecture in the hospital.

The lecture started at work. Great fun. I know it's out of concern, but I don't go around lecturing people they should wear a helmet in the car to prevent head injuries.

^ hmm. I guess if an airbag was an option in a car you'd ask about that though

Those things that are proven to prevent injuries?

Tcha in a car you could indeed ask: Why do you not have a car with max safety rating/5 airbags? I mean...old cars are dangerous eh?

Why do you not wear a helmet while walking? Or indeed, high heels!

Etc...I think the narrative that "no helmet = irresponsible" feels people have the right to comment on behavior. But there's no hard proof they help in collisions...

...I usually end up joking I'm better off avoiding taxi drivers/white van man nearby than wearing a helmet. Which seems to work. As everybody in a car/cycling knows they're bell-ends (or drive as them, sometimes the distinction is unclear...) and redirects it to what causes an accident in the first place...

Le Manfriend just sarcastically replies helmets don't help other people's driving... ;)

In what way exactly is 'ironic' talk of murdering children funny?

It's funnier than the non-ironic kind. Also, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Modest_Proposal

This evening cycling towards Earlsfield station I saw a couple of lads 12-14 riding a scooter - the passenger had no helmet, the lad steering, was no more than 14, the thing had no lights and had pedals which where spinning like crazy. I pulled up beside them at some traffic lights and said in a concerned but friendly way that they would get pinched if the police stopped them. They both piped up that they had been stopped already and the police said it was OK, I told them not to be silly, they turned of Garret Lane and I went on my way. It was a bit of a bizarre moment, getting more odd the more I think about it.

Electric?
https://www.gov.uk/electric-bike-rules
14+ and no lid is, indeed, fine.

It was a scooter not a bike may have been electric but still ???

If it meets the legal definition of an EAPC, it doesn't have to look like your idea of a bicycle.
e.g.

http://www.dayun.co.uk/dayun-electric-tandem-bike/

That thing looks like rather a lot of fun. Max speed's only 15mph though, can they not be made to go faster? I'll never beat the woman with the stealth electric dutch bike on my commute at that speed, tbh.

Illegal to do so, but yes I believe they can fairly easily be derestricted.

Which is probably the best chance that the Midnight Texter (Mexter can be his new name) has of cracking 16mph on a bike without a petrol engine.

Well that looks like a mystery solved - scooby snack for mdcc

^ hmm. I guess if an airbag was an option in a car you'd ask about that though

Yes, whenever I see someone with a vintage car or restoration project I totally piss them off with questions about retro fitting airbags all over it to make it safe.

Actually wait, last time I can think of I just went "nice car, add go faster stripes lol"

remember last year on a 'sportive' I went past someone on a climb and he looked up at me and said in an annoyed voice 'wheres your helmet'. It didnt register what he said at first but when it sank in I realised I had just cycled past a cunt.

Just answer 'on my dick'

"In your mum."

I need words of wisdom like that as a female.

Penis insults just aren't applicable. There's a severe lack of "reply back" insult parity ;)