I hate

Broads? Are you in a James Cagney film? Are you sure they're not dames?

Jim broadbent and his three brothers...

Just be glad he didn't refer to them as bents.

Oh and I hate everyone that is posting in reply to chicken whatsit. Yes he's being a dick, but everyone else is feeding the troll... Apparently I've run out of neg for the day...

Edit: Should add, the nerging is not affected by how good your advice is or how funny your joke is, if you are keeping that shit storm alive you get nerg.

The needless over-complication of otherwise simple things.

At a venerable high-street retailer recently, John Lewis if I'm honest and I've no reason to lie, after urinating I wanted to wash my hands like all good men should. Stopping this basic need was my inability to coax water from the tap, for I did not understand how it worked. I tried rain-dancing before the sink and whispering it sweet nothings, while groping the tap like a teenager ready to pop his cherry. Water water everywhere but not a drop for Swine.

Only when another customer pressed the tap's nozzle in a way I've not seen before, but he appeared accustomed to, was I able to do as intended. As a 36 year old man I felt a mixture of shame and ignorance from not being able to operate a modern tap. As we silently stood next to each other I decided against smiling in thanks at him through the shared mirror we faced for fear he thought I was a weird bog-lurker, but one with clean hands at least.

I had a similar experience in Belgo Centraal Covent Garden a few years ago, except there were no mirrors and the sink was shaped like a space ship. Nobody else in the bathroom could figure out either, so a group of three of us stalked our way around the space ship, round and round, inspecting each identikit baffletap in turn, like contestants in the Krypton Factor. I don't remember how we got out of our predicament but when I went back a few weeks ago the space ship was still there but all the taps had been replaced with normal ones. I guess ain't nobody got time for gastroenteritis.

Wasn't it a foot pump on the floor?

I thought it was invisible sensors? Although I can't rule out standing on a foot pump and attributing it to invisible sensors. Or chemtrails.

Probably magnets, eat more iron before going back.

What has she broken?

New software and make sure she can't install anything.

My computer fixer man is completely flummoxed. He couldn't find a fault in any of the individual component parts but when brought together as one it is still utterly fucked. He has changed everything to known working parts and still nothing. Hopefully I'll have an answer soon and she can pay for it by walking to school with no shoes on or some such Victorian punishment.

Make her wear a dunce hat

She can borrow her brother's. He is an utter bellend too. I don't remember being such a complete waste of skin when I was their age. I only had collecting golf balls at the local course and their subsequent sale to the pro-shop to buy fags to entertain me. None of these electronic gadgets were there to addle my brain just Players No 6.

Had you considered giving them machines with a Linux operating system on?

Far, far harder for them to destroy via picking up an infection whilst looking for the latest boy-band "secret video"/similar.

They both now have android phones so can do what they like. He has his own laptop for college work, I don't understand this Minecraft subject he works on so much. From now on she can only work on the PC for school work, if it ever returns. I am the archetypal Luddite and hate change, I am beggining to think I am on the spectrum somewhere.

zx?

My computer fixer man is completely flummoxed. He couldn't find a fault in any of the individual component parts but when brought together as one it is still utterly fucked. He has changed everything to known working parts and still nothing. Hopefully I'll have an answer soon and she can pay for it by walking to school with no shoes on or some such Victorian punishment.

Make her wear a dunce hat
Make your computer man wear a dunce hat.

ZX?

Ha! :)

My son is too young to demand stuff give him time :)

Buzzfeed and Huffpost and the current demise of information exchange and social communication through the banal and irrelevant superlative laced click bait tsunami of pointlessness. "You'll be astonished in the extreme when you see just how many hours can be wasted feeling your very life ebb away while ascertaining which 90s footballer you are while drifting through endless pictures of anthropomorphic animals and satellite images of cities illuminated by street lights." Fucking dirge!

Buzzfeed and Huffpost and the current demise of information exchange and social communication through the banal and irrelevant superlative laced click bait tsunami of pointlessness. "You'll be astonished in the extreme when you see just how many hours can be wasted feeling your very life ebb away while ascertaining which 90s footballer you are while drifting through endless pictures of anthropomorphic animals and satellite images of cities illuminated by street lights." Fucking dirge!

This. I also had a massive whinge about these kind of sites recently because they never attribute their sources, just regurgitate images with no background at all so you have no way of knowing (easily) what the real story is. Nobody seemed to understand. They're thieves who are helping make the internet even more stupid.

...this fucking cold that I've had for about 3 weeks.

ZX?

I'm sure my mother used to tell everyone I was artistic.

Sites/ebay sellers not listing saddle width. Or letting you search on saddle width.

Especially as some saddles come in different sizes and there's about two gazillion models to choose from.

No doubt posted before, along with the eternal whyunoframesize listings on ebay.

Procrastination. I'm too good at it.

The gravelley, chain smoking pervert from the Ikea radio adverts.

Some that I hate I cannot post on here. It would undermine and trivialise the hate.