I hate

I couldn't agree more with this statement. Grammar is really important on internet forums. I get a really good feeling about humanity when I see people correcting grammar, spelling and punctuation, it's such an important job. It reminds me that there are still good people on earth, prepared to go the extra mile to make life better. Those people really aren't cunts at all, not in any way.

Sarcasm is also the lowest form of wit.

Also, the highest form of intelligence.

My rolls razor.
It is the biggest pile of crap I have ever used.
Others seem to get them to work but mine has never done anything but pluck hair and make my eyes water.
Or maybe it is just my face?

abbrvtd txt spk

I only use that in a text message, and want to keep it as one page text not two. But it's rare I do use that style

I hate the way my (not yet) ex-wife waits a week to reply to any of my fucking emails... Received a corker in my in-box today...

Fuck off, you tired old bag... two fingers

Fuck Flash! That's all.

My upstairs neighbours.
Having a fucking party tonight right over my head. I don't mind that I didn't get an invite. I'm an antisocial git and I wouldn't have gone anyway, but a knock on the door and a couple of days warning would have been polite.
Instead, I come home this evening to find balloons all over the front door, my doorbell ringing every two minutes and a bloke with a really annoying laugh who might as well be in the same room.
Cunts.

It's halloween, expect parties.

It's not the party I mind, it's not giving me a warning about it. I could have arranged to be away for the weekend.

or you could have gone to a party.

Meh

It's halloween, expect parties.

Yeah, but going to a party and being a dickhead need not be related

Putting wet togs on.

AND I still hate that they wet the road around Smithfield market every afternoon. Even if its not raining I get grimed.

Do they comeandwipetheirhandsonyercoat?

my shitty, slippy bottom-bracket

**Dear Friend,
**
With due respect to your person and much sincerity of purpose I make this contact with you as I believe that you can be of great assistance to me. My name is MR AMA HAJI, from Ouagadougou Republic of BURKINA FASO, West Africa.

**Presently i work in the Bank as telex manager. I have been searching for your contact since you left our country some years ago ..I do not know whether this is your correct email address or not because I only used your name initials to search for your contact in the internet .In case you are not the person I am supposed to contact , **

**please see this as a confidential message and do not reveal it to another person but if you are not the intended receiver, do let me know whether you can be of assistance regarding my proposal below because it is top secret.

I am about to retire from active Bank service to start a new life but I am sceptical to reveal this particular secret to a stranger . You must assure me that everything will be handled confidentially because we are not going to suffer again in life..

It has been 10 years now that most of the greedy African Politicians used our bank to Launder money overseas through the help of their Political advisers. Most of the funds which they transferred out of the shores of Africa was gold and oil money that was supposed to have been used to develop the continent. **

**Their Political advisers always inflated the amounts before transfer to foreign accounts so I also used the opportunity to divert part of the funds hence I am aware that there is no official trace of how much was transferred as all the accounts used for such transfers were being closed after transfer.

I acted as the Bank officer to most of the politicians and when I discovered that they were using me to succeed in their greedy act, I also cleaned some of their banking records from the Bank files and no one cared to ask me because the money was too much for them to control. They laundered over $5b(five billion) united states Dollars during the process .As I am sending this message to you, I was able to divert more than Hundred and Fifty Million Dollars ($150m) to an escrow account belonging to no one in the bank. The bank is anxious now to know who is the beneficiary to the funds because they have made a lot of profits with the funds.

It is more than Eight years now and most of the politicians are no longer using our bank to transfer funds overseas. The Hundred and Fifty Million Dollars ($150m) has been lying waste but I don't want to retire from the bank without transferring the funds to a foreign account to enable me share the proceeds with the receiver.. The money will be shared 60% for me and 40% for you ...

There is no one coming to ask you about the funds because I secured everything.I only want you to assist me by providing a bank account where the funds can be transferred. You are not to face any difficulties or legal implications as I am going to handle the transfer personally. If you are capable of receiving the funds, do let me know immediately to enable me give you a detailed information on what to do..
**
**For me, I have not stolen the money from anyone because the other people that took the whole money did not face any problems. This is my chance also to grab my own but you must keep the details of the funds secret to avoid leakages as no one in the bank knows about the funds.

Please supply me the following:
Your current contact address and Telephone Numbers...
I shall intimate you on what to do when I get your confirmation and acceptance.
If you are capable of being my trusted associate, do declare your consent to me.Waiting for your urgent response.

Yours Faithfully,
MR AMA HAJI,**

Putting wet togs on.

AND I still hate that they wet the road around Smithfield market every afternoon. Even if its not raining I get grimed.

You'd prefer maybe big blood and cow piss?

**Dear Friend,
**
With due respect to your person and much sincerity of purpose I make this contact with you as I believe that you can be of great assistance to me. My name is MR AMA HAJI, from Ouagadougou Republic of BURKINA FASO, West Africa.

**Presently i work in the Bank as telex manager. I have been searching for your contact since you left our country some years ago ..I do not know whether this is your correct email address or not because I only used your name initials to search for your contact in the internet .In case you are not the person I am supposed to contact , **

**please see this as a confidential message and do not reveal it to another person but if you are not the intended receiver, do let me know whether you can be of assistance regarding my proposal below because it is top secret.

I am about to retire from active Bank service to start a new life but I am sceptical to reveal this particular secret to a stranger . You must assure me that everything will be handled confidentially because we are not going to suffer again in life..

It has been 10 years now that most of the greedy African Politicians used our bank to Launder money overseas through the help of their Political advisers. Most of the funds which they transferred out of the shores of Africa was gold and oil money that was supposed to have been used to develop the continent. **

**Their Political advisers always inflated the amounts before transfer to foreign accounts so I also used the opportunity to divert part of the funds hence I am aware that there is no official trace of how much was transferred as all the accounts used for such transfers were being closed after transfer.

I acted as the Bank officer to most of the politicians and when I discovered that they were using me to succeed in their greedy act, I also cleaned some of their banking records from the Bank files and no one cared to ask me because the money was too much for them to control. They laundered over $5b(five billion) united states Dollars during the process .As I am sending this message to you, I was able to divert more than Hundred and Fifty Million Dollars ($150m) to an escrow account belonging to no one in the bank. The bank is anxious now to know who is the beneficiary to the funds because they have made a lot of profits with the funds.

It is more than Eight years now and most of the politicians are no longer using our bank to transfer funds overseas. The Hundred and Fifty Million Dollars ($150m) has been lying waste but I don't want to retire from the bank without transferring the funds to a foreign account to enable me share the proceeds with the receiver.. The money will be shared 60% for me and 40% for you ...

There is no one coming to ask you about the funds because I secured everything.I only want you to assist me by providing a bank account where the funds can be transferred. You are not to face any difficulties or legal implications as I am going to handle the transfer personally. If you are capable of receiving the funds, do let me know immediately to enable me give you a detailed information on what to do..
**
**For me, I have not stolen the money from anyone because the other people that took the whole money did not face any problems. This is my chance also to grab my own but you must keep the details of the funds secret to avoid leakages as no one in the bank knows about the funds.

Please supply me the following:
Your current contact address and Telephone Numbers...
I shall intimate you on what to do when I get your confirmation and acceptance.
If you are capable of being my trusted associate, do declare your consent to me.Waiting for your urgent response.

Yours Faithfully,
MR AMA HAJI,**

419 as it is known. hahahaha
thanks for keeping this confidential...

I hate application forms.

I hate rebudgeting with 4 different sets of people who use 4 different ways of recording and then predicting things. FFFFFFfffff

I hate that my missus has been away for a week and that she won't be back until next weekend and having to go to bed and wake up in an empty house. I also hate that I am being such a first class whinger lately.

^ Can be quite liberating, going to bed at 3am and eating takeaway out the box in front of Westerns for seemingly hours on end, before waking up on the sofa at 6 in the morning with Bhuna all down your jumper.

I fucking live this ^

...broken glasses, goodbye new paint job.

opticians, anti-competitive little wotsits