I hate

pooperscooper?

nappy?

...its a notorious cottaging area...

at least you'd have somthing to look at while taking your shit...

sorry...

mobile phone salesman - bunch of cheap suited, hair gel wearing rip-off merchant cunts.

Estate Agents unbelievable inability to take photographs of a property. DON'T GIVE ME JAUNTY ANGLED PHOTOS OF THE SINK FITTINGS BUT NONE OF THE BEDROOMS YOU CRETINOUS DOGFUCKER.

I hate flat hunting.

James (I can see your belly) Corden

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment_and_arts/10277020.stm

Pinch flats that burst loudly while you're quietly reading a book. I squealed.

Do we really need any more revealing and brutally candid accounts of life as a working yet glamorous mother?

I hate it when you accidentally press the 'mark all read' button. Man that pisses me off!

Being Forced to watch the world cup while at work ... Going to take in my headphones and just blast metal .. .don't care if I get bolloxed for it.

white wimmin.

racist.

sexist

Surrey.

God in heaven.

That wasn't fun. 50 fixed miles on a 42-16 for a fatty like me. We started late as all trains to the destination were cancelled inexplicably. One of our number had to get a cab from Surbiton to the destination as his tube was delayed.

Eventually we got there and started riding about an hour after the main pack. We were told prior that for a charity ride, it wasn't that hilly (apart from Leith Hill which was ferocious) that's why I felt up to the challenge of riding fixed rather than something useful. With gears.

About 5 miles of short but steep hills we came across a monster. Canopied by trees, you couldn't see that it just went on and on and on. Eventually we came to the summit and were met with a flat open field with incredible views of Canary Wharf about 25-30 miles away. On we went and after about 15 miles we started to catch up with the stragglers of the main group.

On we went. Thinking we were doing very well we came across a check-point with a marshal and asked, "So how much have we done? 30?35?"
"Oh no... You've only done 20".

At about 35 miles we reached Leith Hill. Dozens of cyclists in lycra with carbon triathlon bikes struggling all the way up it. The other 6 in my group with geared bikes struggling, me with my 70.2 GI and a large backpack carrying all the tools, tubes, food, drink for 7 people - yes, struggling too.

But eventually we peaked it and tore down the hill trying to see clearly and avoid the cyclists coming up the other way through the mottled light and tears created by the speed. Also trying to avoid the potholes in the road and the patches of gravel at the corners - there were a couple of nasty injuries we saw on the way down so it was quite a real danger.

At the bottom of Leith Hill we came across a pub and thought... why not. A half hour break with a couple of pints of Guinness and a packet of Scampi Fries and we were away. Only to go around the corner and find Leith Hill proper.

A mile and a half of 18% Gradient. It felt like the fucking Alpe d'Huez. I had to walk the last couple of hundred yards - I say walk, it was more akin to bouldering. Ropes and a harness would have been useful.

10 or so agonising miles more and we reached what we were promised by a marshal was the final mile, we thought we'd go out in style and sprinted for the last stretch. And then the mile after that. And then the third mile. It just went on. Eventually we were too exhausted to move and thankfully came across the line all in one group.

A brief rest and we cycled the mile or two back to the station, where we promptly fell asleep on the train back to Waterloo. Then another 45 minutes to cycle back home followed by a bath in time for tea and medals.

Right now I need to space out for about an hour and contemplate the damage I've done to my body.

Oh and by the way, what was Tynan doing at the finish line?

1 Attachment

Tynan was out cruising chicks...
Great post, CYOA - your descriptions really bring the misery of cycling to life.
Bikes are so last century...

Leith Hill is a pig. fact

i like leith and ranmore, more fun than box hill

Ta Luci, though as I said in the Tweed thread - insignificant compared to the heroic efforts of you lot.

To think, a friend and I were briefly genuinely considering doing the race on a tandem.
Albeit this consideration was the day before the race, hence the brevity.

The spite of it all. Apparently 4,000 people in my home town think it's OK to de-humanise the mentally ill.

The spite of it all. Apparently 4,000 people in my home town think it's OK to de-humanise the mentally ill.

From the FB group:

This is a woman that walks around Ipswich Town Centre in only a baggy T-shirt and baggy nappy like pants !!
She is an Indian lady with long dark hair (you can't miss her - She's the one without trousers) Hence the picture of Pocohontis !!
Surely this is inappropriate and the authorities should say something to her about indecent exposure !!
Who made you the fucking decency police? Now, I've never been to Ipswitch but I daresay I'll see worse than a woman in baggy pants and a t-shirt if I were to head into the centre on a Friday or Saturday evening.

a pipe has blocked somewhere in my room.
it smells like death.
plumber called now waiting....

cunts who walk about bellowing into handsfree mobiles holding the mic up to their mouth.

I hate those mother fucking arsehole 'I am become Death'er private hire cunts.
So much so that I had 2- TWO! DJ moments today.
I'm such a calm rider normally, but deliberately driving across my line, whilst overrevving your engine, well thats going to get you a dent in your car- if I ever see it again.
Lets not forget that you cut me up at 25-30 mph on Trafalgar Sq Roundabout, and thats what I was peeved at when you sped off and I caught you at the 1st traffic light on the Mall.
So Yes I will tap on your window and tell you to 'learn to drive- you stupid inbred pile of shit'.
Driving across me will get me to sprint down the Mall, and catch you outside Buckingham Palace at those traffic lights.
Then I feel every right to ride up to your window and smack it fucking hard, and watch you squirm as I tell you exactly what I feel about your worthlessness and how only black cabs should be allowed in the city, and how you have the cranular ability of a gnat's testicle.
And then a police officer will come over as I'm about to steal your car keys/ spit in your face/ swear wildly in russian and arabic, and so I calm down and tell them what a dangerous cunt you are.
So yes you twat. They have your license plate and probably your mini cab license number.
Now fuck off and i hope you get financially ruined and enjoy the inevitable call from the police officer.

And you, you other cunt. If I signal I will pull out. I have seen you- you in your small penis mobile. Who the FUCK buys a fucking 4x4 as a sensible Private hire car. Its not luxurious and anyone who books you will just feel like a cunt. Especially in a 4x4 of that make.
So when I signal, don't fucking speed up to try and overtake me round Holborn bend thingy (near Central St. Martins) and then if you're going to insult me, say it to my face when I challenge you. You shriveled pathetic excuse for an insect.
Fuck right off.

^
nice one