I hate

Long drawn out conversation with old deaf people to establish which one it might have been.

Who gives a fuck if it was Polly or Bobby.

I forget which 90s comedian 90scomedian used to say "There's as much fibre in a bowl of All Bran as there is in the toilet bowl afterwards."

Was funny (even though it might have been Ben Elton, now I think about it) but I still like All Bran. Not the U.S. version, though, which is full of sugar.

Ben Elton had the idea to just throw a Big Mac down the toilet and miss out the middle man...

That fucking smug delongi coffee machine advert with Brad pit. Fuck off

Edit.
And shredded wheat can fuck off too. Just to keep the conversation going

On the topic of Weetabix and other cereals, I listened to this episode of the Blindboy podcast about how corn flakes, granola and Weetabix were all invented by frigid af 7th Day Adventists to stop people wanking. Worth a listen!

Ironically, a half solidified Weetabix made with warm milk is a pretty good fleshlight substitute.

Other people may need more than one.

Lovely image. Cheers.

When do people have the time to eat breakfast?

My getting up and going to work routine has been honed to the minimum over the decades to maximise time devoted to ZZZZ's. I am a notorious "not a morning" person lol.

Not had breakfast for years (unless I am in a hotel and paid for it and will force it down over waves of nausea)

Between 6:15 and 7:15 weekdays, whenever I get up at the weekend.
Gotta make time for the most important meal of the day, and a hot tasty beverage.

Takes less than two minutes to pour a bowl of branflakes and eat it.

And you can eat it whilst having your morning shit.

Lovely image. Cheers.

"mini-moon" instead of saying honeymoon.
(See also "Honeymoon" instead of saying holiday)

You got married, you've gone on holiday. Great. Say it like it is.

This place, sometimes.

At times it's been one of the most creative, joyous, inspiring and positive communities that I've been part of.

Recently it's been a fucking ball ache, with very little upside.

I can't bring myself to flounce, but the temptation is strong.

It’s what you make it. No need to flounce, just take a break and work out what’s pissing you off. Then make a solemn vow to make the place better. If not, just stick to the classifieds and the Joke thread.

You've got complete control over this - don't get too involved, don't take it too seriously - you're one of the good guys.

15 minutes into watching latest episode of show I really enjoy when GF comes in...

gf: "have you watched any of [other show] new series yet?" (translation: I want to watch [other show] right now instead of this)

I play dumb and say I'm not sure where I'm up to with [other show] but can check after this is finished and see if we're on same episode.

3 minutes later gf grabs bag of doritos and eats them noisily taking them out of the bag one by one

me: can you tear the bag open a bit more so i can hear the telly please

her: it's already open...

another 3 minutes go by and in the middle of dialogue heavy scene: gf pulls out phone and starts watching internet videos with volume up

I stop show and say fine, lets see where I'm at with [other show]... we're on different episodes

her: let's put something else on...

I scroll through options and she picks new show neither of us have watched before.

20 minutes go by, she gets up and goes to start making her dinner

i watch entire thing until show finishes

she says: "well that was a load of shit wasn't it".

me: *grinds teeth to dust *

You’re too good at playing dumb.
Not meant as an insult, but I stopped trying that tack years ago, it only drove me mad and didn’t change anything.

Set a new pin on the TV and go out with your mates.

Washed beans. Utterly pointless, they need that bean juice.

From experience, small stones can sometimes make their from fields into bags along with the beans. If you don’t rinse them, you risk breaking a tooth.

-Applies to dried beans. Canned beans probably don’t contain stones. Getting rid of the aqua fava is a shame though.

Not getting around to mowing the lawn before it rains.

I hate my colleague being convinced everything is a conspiracy.

There wasn’t any food shortage during Covid, it was all in the warehouses just waiting so they could raise the prices (despite this being completely illegal).

Same for fuel shortages - it’s a government ploy to get everyone driving electric cars apparently.

Seriously it must be exhausting being so cynical and angry about everything.