Your best responses during a road rage

Back home I used to spank my ass at people, in a kinda 'kiss my ass' manner, since arriving in these lands I've discovered that this gets confused with an advert for Iceland the frozen food specialists (not the country, gee, that would be a bizarre marketing campaign, 'Visit The Arctic Tundra, Get Beat By A Coke Fiend')

Instead I do a little wiggly dance at my would-be assailant. Waving my voluminous ass side to side like a randy bee. This is both insulting and shocking, and firmly puts them in their place.

Assda?

I really try so supress anger since I saw a bloke pull out a telescopic truncheon and chase after another motorist. The thought of a cyclist facing that is horrible.

happened to me... terrifying

So was he prosecuted?

Listen mate (next to pretend plastic cab driver) don't you think you should of paid more attention in school.

"should have" :)

I usually just use swear words mixed with what they have done wrong, I just cant help myself most of the time.

for use with drivers of black cabs in a tone of cheery encouragement - 'keep practising the driving mate and one day you might be good enough to get a job at Addison Lee'

for use with drivers of black cabs in a tone of cheery encouragement - 'keep practising the driving mate and one day you might be good enough to get a job at Addison Lee'

Too far - We're not monsters.

Hahaha definitely going to use that!

Although sad that I will definitely get into an altercation with a black cab driver at some point in the near future.

Is that you mate? I saw you cycling through poplar a few weeks ago radio blaring.

addison lee < other mini cabs < black cabs
try to kill you < shit and carless < careless

shit and carless

That's pedicabs.

but they're so slow I couldn't care less about them

addison lee < other mini cabs < black cabs
try to kill you < shit and carless < careless

That's just bollocks too. You just notice more Addison Lee cabs.

It's the minicabs with the clapped out Toyotas that are worst.

Not really road rage but I was told that I 'had to use the cycle path' this morning by a pair of idiots this morning.

When I remarked that I'm allowed to used the road as well, I was told I wasn't and I had to used the 'million pound' cycle lane (a red painted path, well faded now is hardly a million pounds).

So I just shouted 'I pay road tax', which confused them and flipped them the bird...

I'm getting good mileage out of asking politely "Excuse me, was your mother raped by a spastic? Or did she just get married to one?"
Before that I used to like pretending I recognised them from a frontpage Sun/Daily Mail peado exposé *"...I remember you ...you're that peado from the Sun newspaper!! You disgusting cunt!!" *
Works best with cabbies as they try to defend the accusation with their passengers

Wow, rape and discrimination, probably marks you out as as much of a cunt as they are.

^^ if you get punched in the mantits for saying that i would not be surprised. dick move.

mantits...fucking lol

Hi guys, just joined the site but thought I would dive right in. Over the summer I got hit by a van swerving left on a roundabout when it was indicating right. Luckily my bike (and myself) were ok but I managed to rip the wing mirror off with my arm. A massive man got out of the car and stormed up to me shouting and swearing....In my most assertive and aggresive voice I said "you indicated right!"...that was it. Even when I've nearly been run flat over by a car I still can't get angry!

So what happened next? Massive dude apologise? Did you punch him in the mantits?

Can't stop reading mantis.

Can't stop reading mantis.

try again

Ewww...