For Sale: Foffa Single Speed Custom-built bicycle

^£50.01 beat that!

^£50.01 beat that! and ill throw in a steaming hot TURD.......this is like TOP TRUMPS PHARP!!!!!

From In the News...

Foffa's are so shit, I wonder if they are ever stolen. They are like an entire bike that has been built from tynan's anti theft paste.

From In the News...

"Foul-bowelled"

Genius.

A foffa just rode past my house with front and back spoks. I got a bit emotional.

Then shit in my under crackers.

Is there a reason people havn't been snapping photo's of shits and tweeting/instagraming them with #foffa?

From In the News...

Didn't know you could fit a foffa down a chimney

"Foul-bowelled"

Genius.

Also like "chimney shitter".

"You foul-bowelled chimney shitter", might deploy that in future taxi altercations

Mate goes " did I ever tell you about the time I shat on my own face? " all conversation stops, scilence...
So while traveling in china by himself our mate had gone for some evening street food.
He's in a small town in provincial China and is the only European for miles around.
Feeling a bit of gut movement he leaves the cafe, leaves the high street and goes towards a near by river for a quiet shit.
Finding what he believes to be a suitable hole next to the surging river the business is done.
Suddenly he hears a noise, not exactly sure what is going on, the darkness is filled with rumbling. The noise seems to be getting closer, he looks down to see what is happening and a storm drain full of shit flies into his face.

With just enough bog roll to clean his own shit out of his eyes he wanders back in to town, the only European for miles around, and covered from the waste up in shit...

http://www.gumtree.com/p/for-sale/foffa-single-speed-to-sell/1034869134

£350...

LOL

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1439461-I-pooed-on-my-skirt-at-work-today?pg=1

a thread to rival our own

In the spirit of the thread, this mumsnet post shits all over any other story...

JellyBelly10 Thu 29-Mar-12 23:42:06
Not quite the same thing...and FAR TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!....but years ago (when I was about 15) I went to a friend's house whose parents were very houseproud. I had my period and hadn't changed my tampon for ages and sitting on the sofa (pale green/beige colour!) I realised I had "leaked" a bit! I moved and could see a smallish red patch on the sofa about the size of a penny!! I covered it with a cushion (!!) and went to the toilet to change my tampon. Whilst in the toilet I realised that I had actualy leaked quite a lot and my tampon was absolutely saturated. This bit is going to sound far-fetched but I promise it's true! As I pulled it out, it was so heavy with blood that it sort of swung between my legs and flicked a dribble of mucousy blood on the carpeted floor and up the first few inches of the door in front of me which, unbelievably, had a panel which had been wallpapered with a sort of flock wall-paper!!! I dabbed off what I could with tissue paper but there was very obvious staining!!!! I didn't tell anyone but suspect that my friend (and her mother!!) must have worked out it was me!!!

or maybe its because I have the mental age of a teenager...

Eurgh

Thread ends.

I wonder if Prince Charles is on mumsnet and lapping it up?

Is JellyBelly10 Camilla and the house Buckingham Palace ?

"A wee ned shat doon the chimney."

Gold.

I wonder if Prince Charles is on mumsnet and lapping it up?
No but Nicholas Witchell is

I once did a poo.

The wee ned was only putting another log on the fire

It's just brilliant...

"I was just getting home from work when a neighbour ran up and said they had seen a wee ned shitting down the chimney... When I open the door the smell was incredible. The wee bastards's shite had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There's no way it'll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? Och, a ned shat down the chimney?"