Your best responses during a road rage

wow. that was quick.

Yeah if he hadn't posted in the thread I wouldn't have known he'd read my post and had enough time to edit it.

Yeah if he hadn't posted in the thread I wouldn't have known he'd read my post and had enough time to edit it.

well he deserved it for sure. :)

I had a discussion with a cab driver the other day whilst coming home from work. I actually feel fine about the whole thing simply because he was lying.

Same. Although my man's cab was empty. He was insinuating that in <5mph traffic I had 'cut him up' and that he 'had to slam on the brakes'.
In truth, the manouvre was so slow and, if anything predictable, that I did it with my head looking over my shoulder pretty much the whole way.
His first and only real reaction was wild beeping of the horn, not braking.
He told me I'd 'get mowed down one day' and I of course had no choice but to hope that if I ever do get mowed down, it'll be in a snail-pace, palm-grazing scenario such as this.

Oh i remember one time, some guy was behind us honking on the high street, shouting out the window n shit, were doing the same speed as the cars in front, just cruising, but we are cyclist so he wants to get passed us, obviously, 100 metres down the road hes stuck in traffic, now i just come down the road from the other way like 15 minutes ago, i knock on his window nicely, he winds it down all confused and just say "was it worth it? you know there's stand still traffic for the next 2 miles on this road?" ...the look on his face :)

"She's probably killed herself. Feel bad. And I prefer to threaten to rape them."

'I'm a charmer."

Joking about rape is just wrong though, its just wrong...

...thus not tolerated; as always bossman is on the ball.

Eric Cartman - it's wrong! It's wroooong! - YouTube

...thus not tolerated; as always bossman is on the ball.

I rely on other people reporting stuff like that, I'm not omnipresent.

I had a discussion with a cab driver the other day whilst coming home from work.

He had a fare in the back, which made his screaming/swearing/swerving more interesting.

I actually feel fine about the whole thing simply because he was lying- in front of the bemused looking fare he accused me of undertaking him, when he had come up behind me and then pulled into me during a failed overtake.

That he had to invent a situation that was a fantasy showed, to me, that he must at some level know that he was wrong.

And also a bit of a wally.

I saw your vague tweet and was hoping it would have footage.

Also banned.

Oh well. I gave you an out too.

A good decision. Credit.

"... I'm not omnipresent."

Yeah right, get out of town.

From gifs thread - this is surely the best response:

i find a heartfelt 'FUUUUUCK AH YOOOOOO ahhhhh...!' in a fashion befitting this fine-piped lady is both cathartic and unambiguous.

Clusterct is a nice insult now that we're on that manner. Also, fknut. Nice long uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus if you want.

Ok I know it's not cool but I was out early this morning, and a dude pulled out into the main road I was on. I braked hard and shouted but avoided anything nasty. The dude driving stopped wound down his window and started mouthing off. Free wheeled over leant through the window grabbed his keys and tried to pull them out the ignition. Turns out car keys don't just slide out nice n easy. Still the loop holding the other keys gave way and his house keys went into the bushes. Not cool but I still feel good abt it. Pretty sure he was drunk too.

Twist left then pull, also, naughty naughty.

Keys on my car is twist left and push...

Maybe overreaction? He may have a sick puppy at home, you never know.

one time, at band camp....

Middle finger slid in and out of mouth provocatively, then raised in victory.

I had a cabbie trying to overtake me in the bus lane on the Euston Road once, heavy traffic, utterly pointless. When the traffic was stopped he leant out of the window screaming IT'S A BUS LANE, NOT A BIKE LANE. IT'S A BUS LANE, NOT A BIKE LANE. I said "what the fuck are you doing in it then, you're a cab". He sat down and shut up.

I have fallen back on "enjoy your heart attack, cunt" a few times though.

Listen mate (next to pretend plastic cab driver) don't you think you should of paid more attention in school.

me to taxi driver: "its amazing, you get the most time to practice driving, but you are still a shitty driver".

Take mobile phone from pocket and take photo of numberplate. Ride away calmly and smugly.
Report driver to police.

what the hell would the police do??