For Sale: Foffa Single Speed Custom-built bicycle

Hehehe...

Welcome to my world.

thanks, but no thanks

^^The picture does look suspiciously like you.

Can't be me - my chest hair looks like a bat signal.

"Where I live, in glorious suburban Cambridge, there's a local mentalist called Mad Jane*.

Mad Jane* doesn't like cyclists much and she and her scrawny dog object to sharing shared use paths. She regularly shouts at cycling kids and upsets mums on the school run. Occasionally she gets a bit shovey.

It's mainly funny but today shit got real when the following email was circulated :

[QUOTE]You won't believe it, but this evening around 5:10, Horace* was on the allotment path with his bike and Jane* hit him with a bag of dog shit! It burst all over him. Totally gross. The police are coming to our house on Sat morning to talk to Horace* in person and file a report.

A ginuwine Oh Shit moment.

• - Names changed to protect the privacy of Mad Jane and Horace."[/QUOTE]
  From oh shit moments...
  

Seems to be trending, soon "not now, I'm pooping memes"?

(Gold inspiration to be found here...)

Can't be me - my chest hair looks like a bat signal.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/76979_10150336639245302_7330312_n.jpg ?

in a pinch you can unroll the tube itself

#darktimes

Especially as that doesn't flush very well...

...I've been there though in public toilets/oub, gym toilets...

Use pants. Discard pants.

Or, carry handkerchief, use handkerchief, discard handkerchief.

This is 101 stuff kids.

Or an Oakley sunglasses soft case, as a cycling friend of mine once had to resort too.

A sock.

A cock.

So leave someone else with a shitty stick?

If you carry handkerchiefs that's kinda cheating isn't it?

I can't bin my fecking pants if I still need to train afterwards. There's been roll in that gym lately, maybe they've had somebody stouter than me complaining. Or a Foffa accident.

Many african currencies have washable banknotes for emergency use.

"Or an Oakley sunglasses soft case, as a cycling friend of mine once had to resort too."

Arse wiping doesn't get more hipster than this...

Many african currencies have washable banknotes for emergency use.

UK notes are made from part fabric and can be washed also.

Use a £50 note, they're larger :P

Fifty quid notes - for man sized dumps.

Is there any other type? I've never understood the concept of a mini-dump.

There are few things in life more satisfying than a massive dump.

The PPP (post poo pleasure) - that tiny moment, that minute slice of time when everything is good in the world prior to the wipe/wash/walk is an indescribable highlight in a sometimes repetitive routine.

@andy did he actually curl a log into the sunglass bag? Stay classy.