Jokes / Joke du jour!

a book fell on my head.

ive only got my shelf to blame. =)...

I was sat on the edge of my bed last night, pulling off my boxers when the wife said to me, "You spoil those dogs..."

Took my hungover brain a few seconds, but was worth it.

^^very goooood.

lol

In honour of International Women's Day

Q: How do you make a women orgasm every time you have intercourse?

A: Who Cares ?

"Waiter waiter there's an epileptic man in my vegetables"

"It's a seizure salad sir"

Sean Connery should never go to restaurants...

Quality ;)
LiveLeak.com - Frankie Boyle - Banned from Comic Relief

Me and my flat-chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.
The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," I said, *"Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

*

Q: how do you drown a hipster?

A: In the mainstream

Q: Why did the boy hipster look like a girl?

A: Because he shared his sister's genes.

Not sure if that works. I'm ill.

Pope Benedict is auctioning off his old uniforms on Ebay...

..I'd put a bid in, but it's Papal only.

Possibly the only good pope joke I've heard/seen.

oh come on ^ google is your friend

Michael Jackson, the Pope and a bunch of kids are on a plane. Suddenly the plane becomes out of control and is on course to crash.

"Here, there are 2 parachutes." said the Pope.

"What about the kids?" replied Jacko.

"Fuck the kids." said the Pope.

To this, Jacko said, "We haven't got enough time."

The Pope is going to resign and to be honest I don't blame him.

I'd leave my job too if my boss never showed up.

actually not so good ^

What do (did) you call a Nazi in a ridiculous pointy hat?

Your Holiness.

BBC NEWS - The Pope calls for action on sex abuse.

Right after he called "lights... camera..."

I stand by my comment.

oi, those three are very very funny i'll have you know

memes thread >>>>>>>>

don't ask him to post it there he'll only be told it's a pearoast

curses.

The capital of North Korea is Pyongyang.

Which, aptly, is also the sound a wok makes when you hit a dog on the head with it.