Jokes / Joke du jour!

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

I have never played snooker on a bus.

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

I have never played snooker in a club.

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

I have never beaten anyone at snooker, in fact, I'm rubbish at it.

Steve Davis is about to enter his missus from behind. He is taking rather a long time. Eventually his missus asks him what is taking him so long.
He replies "It's that bloke wanking in the corner, he is properly putting me off my game"

what's the difference between a person and a wank?

you can't knock a wank out with boxing gloves on

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

Choking myself until I nearly pass out makes snooker worse.

You funny Fuck

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

I dont play snooker with a snooker cue up my arse.

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

I've never spilt my pint during a game of snooker.

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

Snooker is very boring to watch and it goes on for hours

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

Only the referee wears white gloves in a game of snooker.

We get the picture mate, move on

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:D

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ok.

ignore him william
he's just grumpy

i'm in stitches here

and also quite disgusted

I'm way off my game at the moment..

My 12 year old son came home from school all chuffed about gay marriage being made legal.
"Why are you so happy?" I asked him "Have you even got a boyfriend?"
He scrunched up his face dramatically, then replied: "It's the principle."
"Really?" I said, "Well, at least it's not the priest again."

Ha!

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

I never played snooker with my Dad.

What's the difference between a wank and a game of snooker?

When I play snooker only one of the balls is blue.

It took Findus so long to find the horse meat in their lasagne because the cheese they used on the top was mascarpone.

HA! Spat out my soda pop you rascal. Totally stolen for FB.

Boom! That pun has found the joke it has been looking for all these years!

Findus have a new addition to their pasta range - Nag Bol

I went to see Darren brown the other day. Within 10 seconds he'd convinced me I was a malleable metal with atomic number 82...

Turns out I'm just easily lead