"The only good cyclists are dead ones" - Richard Nye

...and then the cling film gets stuck to itself so he can't find its end and he spends half an hour trying to get one square piece out of it.

No.

No.

You've gone too far.

lol

I'm going to FedEx him a turd.

And I have a rather interesting diet at the moment.

Might as well paste this here for later in case it is removed.

TM writes:
You would think as a "journalist" Mr Nye would be aware of the recent uproar caused by Addison Lee's John Griffin's encouragement of his drivers to use bus lanes illegally, thus putting cyclists at risk. In case you missed this too, the result has been an ongoing campaign to not only actively boycott Addison Lee, who has lost a great number of accounts due to this, but to petition the retraction o
f their minicab license. Now, comparing Richard's words with Mr Griffin's, can you imagine the potential back lash from this? Wishing death on cyclists, in a city plagued by a number of tragedies every year. (11 cyclists this year on London's streets) I hope the cycling community come together once more to make your lives difficult until appropriate action is taken. I'm hoping there is a "die in" coming your way.

Where did you write that TM?

https://www.facebook.com/Sheengate

Only downside is, I had to "Like" Sheengate to do so.

shudder

Very good post, nice one.

I hope he can feel something in his shoe, and after taking it off, tipping it upside down and re-tying his laces, realises it was in his sock all along

I hope when he introduces his wife to his friends it turns out to be two angry badgers taped together in a pencil dress.

I hope he starts a new roll of toilet paper but it's two-ply and he only grabs the first layer to begin with, so as the roll unwinds he's constantly separating the sheets with that annoying ripping sound, and he isn't sure if he can get it back to normal without wasting loads of paper.

I hope that when he woke up this morning for breakfast he was all confused and sleepy and put milk in his orange juice, bread in the kettle and water in the toaster

Been there

I hope he comes to regret his actions, and that this is the catalyst for him to foster sympathetic views to all of mankind

...and then some cannibals boil him in a pot.

A slightly too small pot

A slightly too small pot

So they have to blanche him bit by bit: elbow, by ankle, by posterior cheek.

I hope that when he goes for a number two next time his haemorrhoids burst and keep bleeding non stop for a week.

https://www.facebook.com/Sheengate

Only downside is, I had to "Like" Sheengate to do so.

funny, I didn't 'like' yet was able to post comments

This thread reminded me of my hate for James Martin.

I hope he gets a small toothpaste splat on his work trousers, right next to his crotch

Is that from 'Nye Hard'?

Nye Hard 2: Nye Harder

I hope he wipes his arse and suffers a finger puncture of the tissue whereby his fingernail catches and bursts one of his piles.

has his mystical statement on how he didn't actually mean any of this actually appeared, or is The Times bit it?

I think they are in denyeal*

*D'Nye'al

I hope he shows off his new, over-engineered corkscrew at a dinner party and the bottom of the cork crumbles into a bottle of mid-ranged wine. I hope the guest who gets a tiny piece of cork in the back of their throat discusses the faux-pas in his absence