Jokes / Joke du jour!

What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone

just got off the phone with the sea-life centre

they said my call might be recorded for training porpoises

Antony Worrel Thompson stole some cheese?

How dairy!?

Edam well better not do that again. Or if he does, at least do it caerphilly.

continuing the cheese theme:

what cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Cam-em-bert

Still on cheese:

Why was Saddam Hussein like Little Miss Muffet?

They both had curds in their whey.

What did the cheese say when she looked in the mirror?

"Hello me!"

I'm here all week...

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week. I rang her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

I also met a girl with a plasticine fanny, we haven't had sex but i think i've made an impression..

I reached for the liquid viagra last night but swigged from the tippex instead. woke up this morning with a massive correction...

Out of 12 quick quickies I sent, they picked the worst 2! And I'm 42 FFS!

http://www.scotsman.com/news/cartoon/sandra_dick_we_ll_make_sure_you_ve_the_last_laugh_on_blue_monday_1_2059459

Which artist had brown fingers?

picasso?

yes

sorry

Just bought a raffle ticket to win a cruise in the Mediterranean.
Last week was a roll over

Just bought a raffle ticket to win a cruise in the Mediterranean.
Last week was a roll over

repped.. And stealing.. (will give credit)

#must spread rep etc..

^^ Haha, very good!

http://twitter.com/serafinowicz Gary Glitter is writing his memoirs - available as a PDF file

I'm not surprised Gary Glitter is all over Twitter, after all Twitter is only 6 years old.

Gary Glitter is writing his memoirs - available as a PDF file

Are you going to credit Peter Serafinowicz with this?

Why's everyone always on Gary Glitter's case?

He just wants to settle down and have some kids.

I once bought a Bonnie Tyler satnav. It was rubbish. Kept telling me to turn around, and every now and then it fell apart.

Are you going to credit Peter Serafinowicz with this?

yes sorry I meant to add that

I once bought a Bonnie Tyler satnav. It was rubbish. Kept telling me to turn around, and every now and then it fell apart.

Someone's been reading my Facebook ;)

off my cousin's actually.