Jokes / Joke du jour!

Kim Jong jokes - yesterday Facebook, today LFGSS....

My entire working day is spent facing a continual succession of knobs.

Sometimes I question my decision to become a kitchen cabinet door fitter.

.

I sent this around the office:

http://kimjongildroppingthebass.tumblr.com/

got this in response from one colleague:

There ain’t no party like a Pyongyang party, cos a Pyongyang party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY.

I sent this around the office:

http://kimjongildroppingthebass.tumblr.com/

got this in response from one colleague:

There ain’t no party like a Pyongyang party, cos a Pyongyang party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY.

North Korea Party Rock Anthem ft. Kim Jong Il - YouTube

taken from this youtube clip perhaps? read the description in youtube

(cant stop watching the goose stepping. its brilliant timing)

So, Kim Jong il has died.

For those stupid people who don't keep up with current affairs, she was the leader of North Korea.

Typical Commie getting all defensive about it.

The only decent one i've heard was "Kim Jong Il has died? Well I guess that's the end of his Korea."

I say "inoperative". You say "not switched on". Let's call the whole thing "off".

/glavin!

Best thing about being an insomniac?

Only 2 more sleeps till Christmas 2012!

worst thing about narcolepsy?
600 more sleeps till Christmas.

Fed up! Help me, someone come up with a good joke?

How do you make Gold Soup?

Use 24 carrots.

bom tshh

Thanks Ben, made me smile.

Pleasure. Came out of a cracker this year. Pretty good for a cracker joke.

How do you circumcise a whale?

Send down four skin divers.

What gets easier to pick-up as it gets heavier?

Fat chics.

Grammer Lesson: Two spaces after your period is still acceptable sentance structure. Two spaces before your period means you're pregnant.

Yes. I stole it from @BradmanTV. I'll get my coat...

I have COD.
If the items on my desk aren't in exactly the right plaice it makes me flounder.

Who sang "Ain't No Sunshine"?

Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...

what has burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant woman got in common?

in each case theres a man that hasn't taken it out quick enough.

In 1785 my ancestor invented the cold air balloon.....but it never really took off

i went to see Ready Steady Cook being filmed the other day....Anthony Worrell Thompson stole the show

I love Ebay...Ive sold my homing pigeon for the 8th time this month

I'll always remember what my grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, "How far do you think I could kick this bucket?"

ive heard that the National Blood Transfusion service are using chicken blood during transfusions
Apprently it makes men more cocky and women easier to lay