Jokes / Joke du jour!

Heidegger's Cat walks in to a bar....

And doesn't.

don't you mean Schrodinger's?

(goes off to check Heidegger philosophy on wikipedia)

#notaphilosophystudent

I suppose it does make sense with Heidegger.

(its too late to read philosophy)
someone sum up Heidegger's tenets for me?

don't you mean Schrodinger's?

(goes off to check Heidegger philosophy on wikipedia)

#notaphilosophystudent

I suppose it does make sense with Heidegger.

Works for both.

and neither ;)

One for you Mick....

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Fuck her

(Un)fortunately I know the exact American that came from, and i'm willing to bet vital parts of my anatomy that you heard that at Tibbs' BBQ

Heidegger's Cat walks in to a bar....

And doesn't.

Definitely Schrodinger dude.

Q: Who led the pedants' revolt?

A: Which Tyler.

(Un)fortunately I know the exact American that came from, and i'm willing to bet vital parts of my anatomy that you heard that at Tibbs' BBQ

Yeah 'fuck' was a substitution... I think the original was "rape" :/

(Un)fortunately heard that at Tibbs' BBQ

Oh.. yes ;)

less poo, more good, please

Calrsberg don't do Alzheimer's, just exceedingly good cakes!

I was out in a club last night and someone threw cheddar all over me! I thought wow - thats mature!

I spent an hour at the wife's grave yesterday. Bless her, she thinks i'm digging a pond.

Felt shit this morning.

The toilet paper ripped.

This afternoon I saw a sign that made me piss myself.

It said "Toilets closed"

I went to a feminist picnic at the weekend.

It was great, except that no-one had made any sandwiches...

I went to a feminist picnic at the weekend.

It was great, except that no-one had made any sandwiches...

Ha, ace!

A major London rail hub has become infested with lobsters, crabs, prawns and shrimps this morning.

For health and safety reasons police are asking travellers to avoid King's Crustacean.

I went to a charity do at the local Bulimia Society the other night.

The place was heaving.

-1....

I went to a charity do at the local Bulimia Society the other night.

The place was heaving.

Superb!

-1....

Better nate than lever:

Joseph Fritzel has expressed his disgust of the London riots.
He said "You'd never see my kids out on the streets like that."

Better nate than lever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgRBkjgXHro

Greece has stopped manufacturing Hummus and Taramasalata.

Does this constitute a double dip recession?

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]My wife asked me why I keep talking down to her and always say things behind her back [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]I said “shut up, your in a wheelchair”[/SIZE][/FONT]

Calrsberg don't do Alzheimer's, just exceedingly good cakes!

Fucking genius.

repped!

Who invented nasal sex?

                                                                                                   Fuck nose!