Jokes / Joke du jour!

^I was getting mixed up and thinking of Stewart Lee.

I would love to see a show of Stewart Lee one liners.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8qPaz4s-0g"]‪The
Golden One-Liners Of Stewart Lee‬‏ - YouTube[/ame]

ive never got the appeal of stewart lee. none of those jokes made me even close to smiling. maybe its his delivery...

he de-constructs the form.....ish. that's not a good example of what he does best to be honest

He looks about 12 in that clip. Watch "Stewart Lee - Stand Up Comedian". It's a great set.

ill try and track it down.

i'm liking CK Louis atm

My friend used to be bad tempered about everything until one day I hit him with a spade.

Now he's quite level-headed.

i loved stewart francis' one liner:
i quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone

i loved stewart francis' one liner:
i quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone

But I heard they spoke very highly of him.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug.

Douglas.
Cliff.
Jack.
Russell.

Just in anticipation of the next jokes to follow ;)

Balls.

Pete

what do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pool ?

Bob.

Coat on, leaving.

Lollipop ladies make me cross.

is that because you look young?

?

I accidently filled my blow-up doll with helium.

Now she's playing hard to get.

I can't believe you stole my Moloko CD.

Bring it back.

Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms?

Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.

A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

but the honky was the least well dressed

Racist... But yeah probably

And my last before bed...

Roses are red, violets are blue
I've got Alzheimer's
cheese on toast