Annoying customers

When I worked on the Givenchy counter in Harrods I had one customer who really used to piss me off. He'd come in every day, beady little eyes, barrow-boy grin, some kind of white-with-coloured-stripes top. First thing he would do would be to park his bike* inside *the shop. God knows how he got away with that but I noticed the uniformed guy on the door used virtually to cower every time he saw the cyclist (who by the way didn't even have any gears on his rubbish bike) so I suppose he had intimidated him in to letting him bring it in.
Then the guy would march straight up to the counter, pick out a bottle - usually the most expensive one - and start to splash it all over. On his face, his hair, his armpits. Several times he even splashed it on his ankles. Then he'd look at me, laugh. and, regular as clockwork, slap me as hard as he could across the face.
Then he'd saunter out again, giggling and saying something that sounded like Schoooly or possibly Skully, though that's not even a word as far as I know.
This went on for six months. I had to have my jaw reset three times and the bastard didn't once buy a fragrance, an eau-de-cologne, an aftershave or even a vaginal douche.
Never again. I am never working in retail again.

I've worked in a small branch of a well known chain store for three years now, we had to put up with so much shit, people threatening violence because we wouldn't refund a stolen £3.99 football, people returning deep fat fryers that still have oil in claiming them to be unused, shoplifters getting annoyed when we prevent them from stealing, and then waiting for 3 hours outside the shop until we close up etc.

:D

(directed at wills amusing piece)

^

HAHAHAHA!!!

I feel your pain

I'd only wish this pain on Production managers..

I worked in retail for nearly four years and really enjoyed it. Even with the shoplifters, the drug addicts, the fights, the death threats, the "I know where you work", kicking people out and the compulsive complainers.

I always thought the more you put in, the more you get out. When I'm served by some drone who makes no eye contact, no greeting, no smile etc... it annoys me, but I feel sorry for them more than anything. Shifts go by much quicker and are so much more enjoyable if you put some effort into enjoying them yourself.

I worked in retail for nearly four years and really enjoyed it. Even with the shoplifters, the drug addicts, the fights, the death threats, the "I know where you work", kicking people out and the compulsive complainers.

To be fair, BLB does attract a certain type of person so I guess you should have expected it.

working at a petrol station years ago. guy rocks up in brand spankin new merc, comes and uses photocopier, then asks for a receipt. OMG!!! for a 10cent photocopy.

thats how the wealthy get wealthy, by being tightwads as well as by pursueing the money. this dude was probably playing the self employment/expenses tax write off thing to the max (nothing against the self employed, i'd love to do it)

Strange, awesome hilarious but woefully inaccurate.

I actually stayed there and helped a customer with his hybrid because he could not fit his new brake blocks.

I had arrived and the rack was full so leant my bike up. Had got to the front of the queue when security told me to move my bike. I pointed out that there was no room in the rack so gentile me to leave it outside.

I said I did not want to lock it outside and yes I mentioned its value. Then one place became available in the rack and security guard demanded I move my bike, thus making menlose my place in the queue to be served.

Your selective hearing is fantastic, and you clearly did not see me leave because I was there for 10 minutes helping the nodder and suggesting he did a ctuk mechanics course.

Originally Posted by kayaitch
*Nice note: PiQuE on Shoreditch High - nice to meet you, cheers for the saddle

Bad note: someone in Cycle Surgery Holborn in the queue in front of me about 6.30 this eve getting a bit narky and hmphing, swearing and tutting a lot. Small 'tache, tweed cap, mission workshop backpack, generally acting like he was gracing us and the shop with his presence.

When asked to move his bike from leaning against their stock to the racks at the door by the security guard he loudly said "there's no room on his precious rack, does he think I'm gonna leave 3 and a half grands worth of bike outside without a lock, errrmm I don't think so!" Congrats everyone heard, you spanked loads of cash on a bike, well fucking done. Maybe an idea to buy a lock too, I hear they're useful in London. Bike was brushed aluminium with carbon forks, mavic rims I think and drop bars with black tape. Cheers for looking at me and my admittedly fixie skidderesque bike like we were pieces of shit as I left too- nice attitude.*

I know this is a very dangerous comment to make but,

The original post by Kayaitch painted a picture of a jumped up self important twat.
Just so obvious now who it had to be . Just saying :-!

What conversation is there? Example I go in to Uniqlo for a cashmere cardigan (like rapha but better ;)) I go and pay cash little bag conveing for usually a no thanks. Thats it.

What am I paying for is the item. I await self service tills at more shops as they are cheaper than staff.

In a restaurant, bar I want to be served. Don't want fake conversation just my order taken. Don't want a comment unless there is none of that item or if this is not the best night to order it. I do not want commentry that I'm having something strange as its on the menu so I want it.

I to have worked in retail and behind bars too. Maybe fancy doing bar/food stuff again at events as that was a laugh.

I'm not talking about a having a 5 minute conversation with people, simply a "Hi, how are you" "good, can I have this please" "yes of course" "thank you very much" is normally all that is expected or required.

Not engaging in even the most basic of pleasantries when someone is standing right in front of you is a cuntish thing to do - whichever side of the counter you are on.

I'm not talking about a having a 5 minute conversation with people, simply a "Hi, how are you" "good, can I have this please" "yes of course" "thank you very much" is normally all that is expected or required.

Not engaging in even the most basic of pleasantries when someone is standing right in front of you is a cuntish thing to do - whichever side of the counter you are on.

+1

Plus, basic courtesy can help you out enormously if anything goes wrong or you need any extra help from staff while you're there.

I would've gone out of my way for polite and courteous people, whereas I'd be far less helpful to a stuck-up prick who barely acknowledged my existence.

Not engaging in even the most basic of pleasantries when someone is standing right in front of you is a cuntish thing to do - whichever side of the counter you are on.

Absolutely! Why shouldn't we aim to have a positive interaction with everyone we encounter?

Worked in HMV Oxford Circus. So, EVERYONE.

Same here, +1, etc.

Same here, +1, etc.

Me too, but the one in Leicester Square. Used to work in Music & Video Exchange Notting Hill too, so there...

In sainsburys just now, 99% of customers were vacuous, self-serving wastes of space. The staff not much better.
It's a wonder anything ever gets done in this city sometimes, given that the huge majority of people are barely able to perform basic functions, they must only be a step away from being to lazy/stupid/selfish to breathe soon. I await that day eagerly.

I hate people taking shit out on serving staff, like they have a right to treat people badly because they happen to be in the service industry. And those big fat cunts who complain loudly about everything in restaurants like they are Michael Winner or something. The door is there fuckwad, if it's that bad vote with your feet.
I have a zero tolerance approach to eating out, I am polite and reasonable, if I feel the place is taking the piss I simply leave. No fuss, no arguments, I don't have time for bullshit, fuck you buddy, I'm walking here, talk to the hand.

I have a zero tolerance approach to eating out

It's not often you read something like this.

You can so often see it as being counter productive too.
So your flight got delayed/cancelled, and you are in a long line of people who take it in turns to vent at the check in staff who are re-booking flights. If you get there and act half decent - "ah, no worries, I know it's not your fault, tough day having to sort it out though" etc etc, the contrast shows up so much that they are usually happy to be flexible, help you out, flow some meal vouchers...... and you saved yourself the stress as well ;-)

I work for a mortgage lender and occasionally have to deal with complaints on our mortgage valuations. The amount of trivial shit that some people get so worked up about is insane.

"Your valuer is out of touch, I hung a new picture on the living room wall last month (£5.99 from HOMEBASE!) and yet he downvalued it by £30k. I have spoken to the selling agents and they agree that the valuation report is COMPLETELY wrong"

I think our valuer, who is local to the area, highly qualified and has been valuing residential property for the best part of 40 years knows what the fuck he is talking about. Of course the selling agents agree with you, they're spawn of Satan.

^not an actual complaint, but not really too far from the norm...

can i have a mortage?

This is my life.. Clients want kit.. I give them price. They don't want to pay price. And I have been in these EXACT situations in this clip. Even down to the dialogue. Give or take of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2a8TRSgzZY

This is my life.. Clients want kit.. I give them price. They don't want to pay price. And I have been in these EXACT situations in this clip. Even down to the dialogue. Give or take of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2a8TRSgzZY

haha, same in post production...cunts

But as a customer, you pay for something you expect it done. As a customer paying is the key. If you believe that the customer has a responsibility more than payment for a good or service you are sorely mistaken.

I always make a point of good manners whenever in a customer situation, as I am thankful that I will (hopefully) never have to do it again myself

If you think someone will give you anything other than basic service when you don't have basic manners yourself, you are sorely mistaken

haha, same in post production...cunts

yep

used to manage a tiny but very busy newsagents in Belfast while at uni. one customer was ridiculously irate at the cost of his mars bar, or something, so he had a massive rant while a queue slowly built up behind him. Nothing I said would placate him, he demanded to speak to whoever was in charge. I disappeared into the tiny stock room, for a good 8-10min. watched him on the CCTV getting noticably agitated. All the other customers gave up and went to the (cheaper) vending machines. He stuck around. When I came back out I pretended I had never seen him before. He went fucking ballistic, he wanted to hurt me badly. But, being the most bombed bus station/ hotel in Europe for the last 2 decades (at that time - 2001) it was permanently swarming with police and security.

He phoned the shop owner, who I had forewarned, and complained, my boss just laughed down the phone to him.

He came back in to complain in person, I was the only person there, see above.

sometimes you get by on the little things

How do I register as a customer?

You can't. We no longer accept new customers except by invitation only. We know how frustrating this is for you, and we wish we could take on new customers 24/7, however we can not maintain our high standards of service if we do so, so we have to strictly limit our customer base.

At this time, the only way to get an invite is directly from us, not from other customers. We will not tell you how to get an invite, or even if we are actually issuing any invites at all at the moment - we may not be. Such information is proprietary and will not be disclosed.